Questions and answers with Rory

Rory has asked a few questions this morning;

Should we all live a life that others may not understand because of the uniquity of who we are or should we all conform to the norm?

I don’t think that we are all so unique that our life’s philosophy would be totally beyond others to understand. But having said that, conforming for the sake of fitting in is not something I’d advocate.

I’m a strong proponent of being oneself. If it really means that others will be bamboozled or puzzled by our life choices then be it. But don’t sacrifice your individuality to be a part of the herd.

What do you think are the five main components to living a healthy happy life?

Healthy body; Looking after one’s diet and physical health.

Healthy mind; looking after one’s mental health by loving oneself.

Healthy outlook; Being at peace with oneself, and society around you;

Being a good companion to oneself or having a good companion.

Healthy, peaceful living conditions.

What do you think is the best colour to paint your main living space and why that colour? What benefits does it award you?

Mine is a cream/ off-white color. It is neutral and I can decorate/ change my color scheme to any other color I like. It is soothing and doesn’t clashes with any other color.

What do you consider absolutely pointless in life?

Everyone will have a different answer to this question. I feel it is completely pointless to think of ‘ What if’! There are no time machines and no redo buttons in real life. So thinking that if things hadn’t happened this way or that way, some different outcome would have resulted is, in my way of thinking totally futile.

Written for Q&A with Rory



Fearing the AI, and other questions from Rory

This Saturday, Rory has these questions for us;

Should we fear the arrival of more progressive AI [Artificial Intelligence] or embrace it?

I think there is only one fear regarding AI; people may altogether forget how to write, and think for themselves. Those who already rely to much upon technology may just abandon the pretense to trying to do things on their own.

As for embracing this technology, most people use their smartphones and by doing so have embraced this already. My only concern would be that we should use our brains to think and act independently of the herd thinking that has taken hold of many societies.

How much time do you spend sitting each day?

A lot of time. Perhaps 30-40 minutes every hour. I’ve started to walk after each meal for 20-30 minutes, walking a total of 3.5-4 miles a day. I am hoping that this will help me achieve the level of fitness that I had at beginning of 2020.

What is your proudest accomplishment?
[Having Children not included]

Aww, you have denied me my greatest achievement! Well, I think my greatest achievement ( other than raising three great human beings) is being a good homemaker, and surviving all that life has thrown my way. And I also consider my blog one of my mentionable achievements!

Are/Were you the youngest, middle, oldest or only child?

I am number 2 in my family. I have one older brother and two younger ones.




Sunday chit chat with Rory

The Morning Dawdler

Rory has posted his fresh batch of questions, straight from his fertile imagination

What is the best way to cook an egg, and what is your favourite egg dish?

I’m not very keen on eggs. Perhaps because during my various diets, I’ve had too many of them. I don’t like the smell of eggs so I try to cook them in a way that would minimize this aroma. Boiled eggs are fine and so are scrambled ones. I really prefer someone else to cook eggs for me, like a chef in a restaurant!

What makes for a good listener, and are you one, or do you only hear people as noise?

A good listener should be paying full attention to what the other person is saying/ talking about. I am trying to be a good listener and making an effort to not let my monkey brain wander from topic to topic when someone is talking to me. It never is that bad that I’d consider what others are saying as noise, but I could be thinking my thoughts when I should be listening!

How well can you control your emotions, and is it hard to keep them in check with moments and times when you feel passionate or angry with others or situations?

I am quite good at controlling my emotions. I don’t get angry often or have a meltdown. I do get passionate about things I believe in but in a good way, i.e.; trying to convince others. But being an average human, there may be times when I get teary-eyed, depressed, or angry if enough buttons are pushed.

Is it necessary for you to be remembered by others for your contribution to life?

Not necessary to be remembered at all. What difference will it make to me since I’ll be dead! But I’d rather like to be remembered well rather than badly when I’m dead. To that end, I try to not be a nuisance in life for others. And I tell others the same. Don’t become a burden to others. Be kind and generous so that people don’t wish you dead!



Some more questions from Rory!

The latest batch of Q & A from Rory

What are you currently watching or reading?

Not watching anything in particular, whatever my husband watches, other than the news. I’ve started reading Louise Penny’s new book, ‘A world of curiosities’, and I plan to finally read ‘A hitchhikers guide to the galaxy ’ too.

What is the weirdest food combination you enjoy?

Right now my food is weird because I eat in bites max is 2 tablespoons of anything. So if I want a variety of food I wait for 30 minutes to an hour before having the next part of my meal. I’m having a lot of yogurt with every meal, that maybe called weird!

How long would it take to notice subtle differences in your neighbourhood, signalling something terribly wrong? [What would those differences be to make you feel worried?]

Now, this is a very interesting question. Our neighborhood consists of houses on one side of the road while there are empty plots on the other side. And it’s a relatively quiet neighborhood. So perhaps if all the birds stop twittering, or start squawking loudly, I’ll take note that something is up. A sudden weather phenomenon will also raise some red flags.

What do you think of garden gnomes?

I like them but sadly people seldom have them here. I’ve seen stone birds, animals and fake flowers/ butterflies in gardens but no gnomes. Though I liked all the gnome movies.



Social media and its impact on us

Jim asks; For Friday Faithfuls this week, I would like to know;

If you have children and if you allow them to use TikTok.

All three of my kids are above 30 now, so I don’t keep a check on their activities. They may use tik tok but they don’t need my permission.

How much time do you spend on social media and what sites do you use?

If you don’t count WordPress as a social media platform, next to nothing. Most of my time is spent on WP, and very infrequently I open Facebook.

What are your thoughts about social media data mining?

The fact that I’m not an American or living in a developed country, makes me safe from data mining ( the way I understand the idea) so if the only disadvantage I face is that I see an ad related to anything I saw on Facebook, it’s not worrying for me.

How do you feel after using social media?

I love being on WP! For Facebook, I have no feelings either way, and I hardly open my Twitter account. So I’m not much affected by social media like Facebook etc.

Do the things that you follow help or hurt your mental health?

Other than WordPress, other social media sites do not affect my mental health. WordPress has given me so much joy and improved my mental health and my capacity to deal with issues of mental health.

Do you hide your identity online, or do you feel free being yourself?

I have only hidden my real name on my blog. On Facebook, I am using my real name. The accounts linked to my blog also show me as Sadje.

How often do you respond to Di’s Share Your World questions, Lauren and Maggie’s Throwback Thursdays share, or Rory’s Morning Dawdler?

I respond to SYW every week while throwback Thursday is a hit or miss. The reason I don’t participate in that is that the questions are mostly related to western culture/ habits and I have nothing to contribute to that discussion. I either answer Rory’s questions in the comments or if I can, I post them in a separate post.

In response to Friday Faithfuls, hosted by Jim



Morning dawdler- 2 in 1

Rory is hosting these Q&A post thrice a week. Here are two of them.

Thursday Edition

How hard is it for you to ask for help if you need it – can you do so quickly, or are you resistant to it?

With time and age, I’ve acquired the wisdom to know that I cannot do everything myself. So I ask for help when I need it. The resistance has gone because I know I’m human and failable!

Are there any phrases that people use that annoy you immensely?

On the other hand ( this is so cliched)

In my honest opinion/ let’s be honest here ( do you lie otherwise)

All the passé phrases that politicians utter.

How do you acquire new skills – what systems do you adopt to aid you, and why do they make things easier?

I google it. When I need to do something I’ve not done before, I google it or watch a YouTube video. It does make things easier.

Which three spices or condiments do you use the most when cooking, and what makes them more valuable?

Salt, pepper, and ground cumin. They enhance the taste of any dish unless it’s a dessert. Then I use cinnamon, sugar, and/ or honey and butter( oops butter is not a spice)

Saturday edition

Have you ever learned to fight or taken self-defence lessons – why did you feel this was necessary or was this something that you wanted to know to feel safer?

I haven’t, but I should have! I think everyone should know how to defend themselves. Especially, the women should.

Do you spell grey as gray and also is it colour or color?

Grey is color while gray is colour, or perhaps vise versa! 😂🤣

Are you now or have you ever been afraid of the dark?

Not really, unless I’m all alone on a very dark night and walking into an unknown place, which is full of creepy creatures.

Where do you prefer to do most of your clothing shopping – online or in-store?

I like to buy clothes after I see them and can touch and feel their texture. And of course, try them on. So it’s in-store shopping for clothes for me.



Questions over decaf tea with Rory


Are you more socially or community-minded regarding people, or do you not think there is a difference between the two?

I’m not very community-minded, I am sorry to say. Though I am socially- minded/ conscious.

A community minded person works actively for the community, while a socially minded person would be more into social activities. ( That’s what I think )


On a scale of 1 – 10, how ethically minded do you think you are?
What behaviour do you consider to be ethical?

I’d rate myself quite high ethically, perhaps 9 or 10. I feel telling the truth at all times is ethical, being fair to everyone is ethical and speaking up in the face of injustice is ethical.


Tattoos are a very personal lifestyle choice by those who have their bodies inked. So – Do you think tattoos make people more confident or less?

I think it’s a personal choice and has little to do with the confidence level of a person.

Do tattoos look good on everyone?
[If you are inked, have you ever regretted any of your tattoos?]

Again it’s a personal preference. Some people do look good with a tattoo! I never ever thought of getting one.


What enrichment do you personally receive from being social?

Being social makes me feel better because it connects me to people who I consider my friends. It helps me share things with them, go out for a meal or shopping trip or perhaps get together and talk our hearts out.

Have you become noticeably more socially isolated or socially interactive after the pandemic and the lockdowns? There may be no difference in your social behaviour; if this is the case, let me know below.

Initially like everyone else, we all were isolated and the only contact was via a phone call. Now things are much better so we meet other people socially, frequently.


What would be your top sustainability tip?

Take care of things you need to do today and stop worrying about tomorrow.

For our home planet, save, conserve and care about the coming generations.


We live in a world that treats being open and vulnerable as a taboo and something to be frowned upon, so –

Do you find it easy or hard to talk to your friends and family about your health?

Oh yes I find it very easy to talk about my health with my family and friends. And would also listen to their health issues and advice them accordingly, with my medical background. I even share my medical issues here on my blog. People were very kind and responded positively.


What will you be doing this weekend?

Attending a wedding, organizing my daughter’s stuff as she has moved back, and spending time with family.


As the writer and author of your blog, how connected do you feel to your audience?

Over the last 4 years I’ve developed connections with my blogging friends. They are like family now. Despite my faulty memory, I now know their names, and people behind those names. So I feel quite well connected to them.

Does your blog reveal too much, too little or just the right balance of you to your readers?

I think I share a lot of myself on my blog. There are certain things I don’t share here but overall, I think I maintain a balance.


If you were granted a day at being one of your favourite book characters, who would you choose to be and why?

Someone who is clever and has a few adventures. I liked the lead character from one of Georgette Heyers book, “Grand Sophy” I would like to be like her for a day or maybe for ever. She was one brave and fearless woman.


What do you believe is the greatest threat to our planet today?

Stupid humans!

People who are being thoughtless and greedy without any thought of what the consequences of their actions will be.

Thank you Rory for these interesting questions



Questions and Answers over coffee- December- 17’ 22

What actions do you take if you can’t sleep naturally?

I read books, or blog. If that doesn’t work, I get up and walk for some time. If that doesn’t work then I take a hot shower. That usually does the trick.

Can you easily recognise if you are suffering from stress, and if so, what do you do to reduce it? Are you able to see signs of stress in your friends or your family more than you?

I start getting a headache, and the back of my neck starts to hurt and stiffen up. My heartbeat also goes up. I talk to myself about the cause of the stress. If I can do something constructive about it, I do it. Otherwise, I tell myself that getting worked up about it is futile and try to divert my mind by doing something else.

The signs of stress in close family or friends are usually visible if we look carefully. Stress can be visible as anger in most cases.

The West holds firm concerning the war in Ukraine. However, how do you feel about it all now? Do you believe we are providing too much or too little support?

I cannot comment on this as I’m not very cognizant of the details of why America has not stepped into this conflict. I’m so sorry that the world is watching while Russia is doing what it likes in Ukraine.

How much black-and-white honesty from your best friends do you believe your friendship with them warrants? Should friends be brutally honest with you or provide support without question?

Inspired by Should Friends Offer Honesty or Unconditional Support?

I think the balance lies somewhere in the middle. Brutal honesty is only acceptable and warranted in dire circumstances. Otherwise, some gentle probing and giving loving support is often what we need.

Do you think you have an addictive personality?

Oh yes, I have. I get addicted to games easily. That’s why I avoid testing out new games. I am now addicted to blogging but I don’t mind that. In fact, it helps me stay focused, keeps me from being bored, keeps me connected to so many friends, and has helped me gain a lot of knowledge about things that I hadn’t had before.

Why are so many of today’s online/television advertisements so cringey? Are you ever influenced by the comedy or corniness of them?

I hate most ads. Especially the ones in Pakistan. For one, it’s hard to tell what they are selling/ advertising, and for another, they are quite stupid.

Do you ever need help responding to some comments left by readers on your blog posts, as in not knowing how or what to respond with? Why is this, and what usually throws you off?

Very rarely do I need to read previous comments so that I know how to respond. The reason is that the writing is a bit ambiguous and the meaning of that piece of writing is not clear to me.

What five vegetables do you use the most each week or month?

Potatoes, onions, peas, eggplant, and tomatoes. We use onions and tomatoes in most of the dishes we cook. The rest are my favorites.

What is the most outrageous thing you have ever done?

Recently, I got stomach sleeve surgery done in a bid to cure diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol. Also it’s helping me lose weight. It was something that I had to convince all my family that I needed to do.

Have your blog reading habits changed since you first started to blog? 

Have you ever felt frustrated from reading blog posts because they are perhaps not piquing your interest? 
What have you done to prevent the boredom from biting deep if this is the case?

Inspired by bloggers

From the day I started following people on WP, I’ve made it a habit to read their posts and comment on them. Recently, I have stopped commenting on all the posts by every blogger. If I don’t find something interesting to say, I just hit the like button.

Do you find it easy to make difficult decisions, and do you have a process of elimination for making those tough decisions?

I think I’ve mentioned this before, I make snap decisions. But I’ve made a pact with myself, not to regret ( too much ) these decisions. No use crying over spilled milk.

What’s the longest you have gone without a shower?

A day! And only when I’m I’ll or had surgery. Even when the doctor says not to take a shower, I still find a way to take a shower of sorts.

Between the choice of a deep fried insect sandwich or a raw earthworm hamburger with no option of declining either, which would you choose?

Inspired by a conversation at the Nature Reserve

Fried insect sandwich. Though there will be no guarantee that it’ll stay down.

How would your family and friends react if you started to talk to another person one day that no one else could see but you? Do you speak to yourself regularly?

Inspired by the film – Just Like Heaven

I often talk to myself and my family and friends would think that that’s what is going on. If I continue to do it for days, they may take me to a psychiatrist or psychologist!

How far can you be pushed before annoyance becomes full-blown anger and what is your anger style?

I need to be pushed a lot before I explode. My explosions are quite subdued but with a touch of acid rain.

In response to Question time with Rory



Q & A with Rory over decaf coffee

What motivates you to get up every day?

I get up to offer morning prayers, Fajar. It has to be before sunrise. After that my day starts. I read Quran, walk for at least 30-35 minutes and after my breakfast, I start on my blog. Overnight comments, and posts. Reading them takes an hour or maybe more.

What words have always struck you as funny or odd when looked upon?

It depends on my mood. If I’m in the mood to be entertained, anything can look funny or odd.

How often do you read the comments left by other bloggers on other bloggers’ published posts?

Sometimes. If I can’t figure out what to write, I peek at what others have written. Sometimes the blogger responds so late that I don’t remember what was the post so I hop back and check it out.

How hard do you work to keep your long standing friendships alive year in and year out and do your friends work the same way to keep you?

I don’t have to work at maintaining my old friendships. If we don’t talk for months, we still will pick up as if we had chatted yesterday. That’s the fun of having old friends.

How many emails do you delete every week?

About 50-75. I don’t get notifications from WP through emails. I just get emails of new posts I have published; that’s right, I follow my own blog through email! The rest are bank transitions or advertising.

Are you easily distracted, and what do you find distracts you the most?

I have a monkey brain. It jumps from topic to topic. So if I’m talking to someone and I remember I had to tell them something, I’d blurt it out. It can disconcert or upset people.

Have you ever had a strange unexplained encounter that left you shaken and baffled and if so, what do you think it was? Or what did your brain make you think it was?

Not shaken but baffled! A few unexplained things happened which left me wondering!

Are we more scared of things that go bump in the night when in the dark or equally as concerned if the same thing happens during daylight hours? If so, why do you think that is?

A sudden noise in the quietness can be startling. Sometimes you think you’re alone and the door to the room opens suddenly and you jump up. It can happen during the day or night.

What do you think are the magical ingredients for writing a bestseller and do you think you could write one?

I can’t write a novel-length book. I don’t have it in me. The magical ingredient in the writing of a best seller is the talent for telling a good story or writing non-fiction in an entertaining way.

When was the last time you stayed awake all night having fun with another person, and what were you doing?

The last and only time I stayed awake all night was to prepare for an anatomy test on parts of the brain. I was third in a class of around 400 students, but I vowed never to do it again. It took all the fun out of learning.

Would the 18 year old you recognise the older you if you both collided on the street today? If not, why?

I think she would. Or perhaps not. I have changed a lot in the last 43 years.

What are you most looking forward to in 2023?

Losing lots of weight, getting rid of diseases like diabetes and hypertension, and feeling light. That is my personal wishlist. For the rest of the world, I hope that both health wise and economically we do better.

Are you more curious or are you more passionate, or are you both?

I think I’m more passionate than curious. I don’t take interest in things that don’t concern me.

Can you easily recognise your flaws, and do you think it is important?

I think it’s important to know both our weaknesses and strengths. It prepares us to deal with all the challenges life throws at us.

The musical album you loved the most in the last twenty years was… ?

Can’t remember. Any question you ask me to list such things will result in this response. I honestly don’t remember the names.

In response to Question Time with Rory



Questions over coffee by Rory

10 – 15 assorted questions across a range of subjects once a week

01• Do you sometimes ‘just’ LIKE posts from those you follow but don’t often read the content, and if so, why do you do this? Is it a time restraint or something else that motivates this action?

Sometimes, when I am way behind in my blog reading due to family commitments, I do like the posts from those I regularly follow. But I do skim the content before doing that as there are certain things I don’t agree with or like!

02• What do you do with gifts you have received but have no use for?

Inspired by Sadje

I do regift them but make sure that the other person wants them. Mostly these are my kids or very close friends.

03• Have people become lazier concerning cooking do you think, or is it more a case of people not knowing how to cook? Is cooking considered a valuable skill by you?

Over here, we cook every day. Being lazy is never an excuse as food/ mealtime is special. The only times when we don’t cook is when it’s a weekend and we plan to order in.

I know how to cook but am not a great cook. There are certain dishes I make very well.

04• What news stories, in your opinion, have so far defined the 2020’s and what do you think they have taught us personally as individuals?

Politics, the war in Ukraine, increasing prices of everything, and increasing violence all over the world have made 2022 a year to remember with the hope that next year is an improvement. I’ve learned to switch off the tv when news show starts.

05• What would you never swallow even if you could?

Many things, including red meat, raw fish, organ meat… and the list goes on.

06• How many hours of sleep do you get a night, and how many hours do you think you need and why?

I try to get at least 7 hours of sleep. And that’s enough for me. Less than that and I don’t function at full capacity!

07• How important is it to you to have a clean house or environment to live in and does it have to be pristine?

I like a tidy and clean house, but it’s not something that has to be done right now. Tomorrow is good enough.

08• Could you give up your Smartphone and break your addiction to it?

Not at all! I’d be cut off from my family and blogging community. And won’t be able to pay my bills etc.

09• What have been five of your best TV shows from the dawn of dot to today? Why were they good?

I can never remember the names.

10• Why is life not a bed of roses but a bed of thorns?
What makes your life good and or bad?

Life is what you make of it. And how you look at it. No one’s life is all tragedy or all comedy. It’s a mix and we need to be able to adjust to its different phases.

11• Toasted waffles or toasted bread, and why?

Right now; neither. I haven’t been allowed carbs since my stomach surgery. Maybe one day I’ll be able to eat bread or waffles!

12• How do you feel about the ageing process and you?

Aging is the price we pay for being alive. I think it’s a better option than dying young!

13• What is the last rebellious thing you did?

Got my stomach size reduced by half. I did this in hopes of curing my co-morbidities like diabetes, hypertension, and hyper-cholesterol! Weight loss is an extra benefit.

14• What would be your ideal ‘you experience’ of the following …. museum, theatre, spa day, bungee jumping?

Spa day, but if someone else is paying!

15• Could you easily step off the planet and away from society and your friends and being social and also away from the Internet for 12 months?

Nopes, I won’t for I can’t be away from my family, friends, and my blog.