Beckie is the host of Working On Us

Help Break The Stigma Surrounding Mental Health

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This week on, “Working on Us”,  We’re going to explore the psychological effects of codependency.  The definition of codependency is excessive emotional or psychological reliance on a partner, typically one who requires support on account of an illness or addiction. 

Note: The definition refers to “Partner”, this is not necessarily the case.  Family members and friends alike can be affected by codependency too.

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After reading this long list of signs of co-dependency, I have realized that I suffered from this condition for most of my adult life. I always thought that it was my personality type but now I realize that it was due to the trauma of losing my mom at a young age.

I was trying to please the grown-ups in my life, would take any critical opinion as a personal insult, would sacrifice my own needs for those of others and generally behave like a doormat. I also suffered from low self-esteem and was afraid of offending others by stating my views and opinions about anything. This went on for a long time even after I was married and not living under the oppressive circumstances that prevailed while living with my stepmother. The reason I think was that I had conditioned my thinking to be codependent.

I eventually broke out of this mold I had created for myself. It was a gradual transition, not an overnight change. I think what brought me out of this way of thinking and existing was that I grew in confidence. I realized my self-worth through the encouragement of my husband and family. I was made to feel that I mattered, my opinion mattered and that I was knowledgeable. These were empowering feelings and resulted in gradually cracking the walls that I had built around my emotions and needs.

Codependency is a very dangerous thing as the person themselves chooses this way of thinking and acting. They often undermine their own interests and are punishing themselves for the crimes they never committed. Taking responsibility for the mistakes of others and trying to please everyone are few of the onerous responsibilities they burden themselves with.

I hope that anyone who has this condition, should realize that they cannot carry the weight of pleasing everyone on their shoulders, and try to break out of this way of thinking.

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The route I’m choosing this week is to write a narrative if you or someone you know is codependent.  The reason behind me choosing the narrative is because there are so many facets and directions this particular topic covers.

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See, I told you… Codependency is a long list of several different dimensions in which to go. When submitting your narrative please try to keep it to a 1500 word cap. I’d greatly appreciate it.

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Rules:

• Write your own post and create a pingback to the original post here.
• There are no right or wrong answers.  Write in any format you see fit.  (Answer’s, fiction, non-fiction, poetry, poem, short prose…anything, and/or narrative).
• You can do one or all prompts.

• You have from December 4th through December 10th to submit your entries.

• Please reblog the original post in order to spread more awareness.

• ( If you the blogger have a suggestion/question you want to ask in the future weeks, please submit them in the comment section of this post).

• Let’s see if we can get some men involved in this week’s prompts, your viewpoint/feelings are validated here too!

• Plus, as an added bonus, whoever responds to the following prompts will automatically be reblogged to promote your blog site and spread more awareness!

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