The most difficult decision I had to make!

This week Fandango asks a very profound question;

What has been the most difficult, hardest, or most painful decision you’ve ever had to make in your life?

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I have often written about the hardships I’ve faced in my life; losing my mom at an early age, a step mom that I didn’t get along with, physical illnesses and then some family circumstances that were quite trying and testing.

But these things happened to me where I had no say in the matter. I didn’t had to make a decision in any of them.

I think the hardest decision I had to make was moving to Seattle with my elder daughter and grandson. My two younger children were still unmarried and I had to choose my elder daughter over them. It was hard in the sense that it created feelings of resentment in my other children which still lingers. My husband has always been very understanding and supportive of my decision but there is always sibling rivalry and that has affected my relationship with my younger children. And though they are now parents themself, there is a feeling I often get that they feel I have showed favoritism.

And the most painful decision I had to take, that caused literally lots of physical pain was going for knee replacements. I absolutely had no idea when I elected to have my right knee replaced at the age of 50. It was truly painful in the extreme for three days. On the fourth day, the pain level, magically reduced to manageable level. And despite this experience, three and a half years later I got my left knee replaced. The second time around, it wasn’t that bad because;

a) I knew what was coming

b) I asked for self injecting morphine drip which helped me manage my pain.

Other than these, I cannot recall that I had to decide something that carried hardships or pain for me. But then I have notoriously bad memory. Maybe I have blanked it out because it was that painful?

Written for FPQ # 153, hosted by Fandango

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My honest share

This week Melanie has some very interesting questions for us in SYW

Questions

Fill in: ‘If I were really completely honest, I would say that …’ This is a question for ‘radical honesty’. What are the things you wouldn’t normally say? Things you would otherwise actually hide? What’s on your mind? What would you really like to be able to say?

“Your words are hurting me, deeply” But I never say that. I love my family too much to say this to them but sometimes in my desire to be the perfect mother/grandmother I try to do everything for them and end up over stepping my boundaries. They get annoyed and say things which are hurtful. I never could say that it was hurting me. All I do is apologize to them repeatedly. And I think it’s not likely to happen in the future either.

Have you ever broken anything? What about rules?

In college I broke my meniscus (cartilage in the knee joint) It later required a surgery to remove it. When I was expecting my third child, I slipped in a bazaar and broke the other meniscus in the same knee! It resulted in another surgery on the same knee sometime later. Then three years ago, I fell and broke two bones in my right foot.

As for other things, I’m an expert in breaking things and they are way too many to tell. But I’m not a rule breaker. In fact you’ll find me lecturing those who break rules!

Are you also afraid of spiders? What is your biggest fear, other than spiders? (if you’re not afraid of spiders, use your biggest phobia instead).

Nopes, spiders don’t frighten me. The same is true for many crawlies. I abhor flying cockroaches and am genuinely afraid of snakes. I also am afraid of activity that involve heights, like zip-lining, chairlifts and mountain climbing!

Do you think time goes faster as you get older?

The theory of relativity says that time passes faster when we are having fun and slower when we are in trouble. By this logic, in old age Time should move slower!

GRATITUDE SECTION (as always, optional)

Please share something that really inspired you from this last week or month.

My fellow bloggers inspire me daily by their posts, stories and poems. The responses to WDYS are remarkable in their diversity and I love to read how the same image inspires a different response.

In other news, my grandson drew this image of “Shadow the hedgehog” for you all.

The scribbles are added by my 2.5 year old granddaughter!

Some flowers to brighten your day;

Thanks. Melanie for providing us with such interesting questions every week.

#Keepitalive

#SYW

Style, past and present

This week’s for Throwback Thursday, our prompt is: Sense of Style

(This week we are revisiting our foray into fashion and how you learned to express yourself through your outward appearance and adornments)

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Like decorating adventures, my sense of style has seen many changes too. But then I suppose that it’s but natural that our style evolves over time as we grow.

When I was a teenager following the latest fashion trends seemed to be very important. Our national dress is Kameez shalwar and we keep on experimenting with the length and styles of this ensemble. The shirts can be mid-thigh or even shorter or nearly to ankles. The shalwar can have wide lower end or ankle hugging ones.

I remember shortening the length of the shirt by cutting it off or increasing it by adding a piece of cloth to it with some artistry as the fashion changed.

In the eighties, big hair was in so I got a perm! Blow drying the hair to fluff then out was also on the agenda. And as a young mom, I followed all the fashion that I could given my self imposed restrictions of always being decently covered.

It’s only lately that I have stopped trying to follow the latest trends. Now I look for;

1• Comfort

2• Easy to manage clothes

3• Looking graceful

This latest change is because I’ve stopped bothering about how others perceive me. I only do what I feel I should do!

Me, in November, at a wedding

Written for Throwback Thursday- Sense of Style, a prompt by Maggie this week

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My occupation!

This week, Fandango Provocatively asks;

What do you do for a living? If you are retired, what did you do before you retired? If you’re currently unemployed, what did you do before becoming unemployed?

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I was studying to because a doctor when I got married. In my culture, 36 years, back most marriages were arranged by parents. I gave my consent for the marriage, thinking I’ll be able to complete my studies after marriage, but that didn’t happen.

My first job was as the Wife! This job was soon turned into a combination of a wife and mother when my daughter was born. These combined responsibilities lasted for 24 years. The job description seems simple enough, but it was I think the toughest job around. It combined the duties of a housekeeper, cook, chauffeur, cleaner, launderer and a nurse/ doctor!

Finally when my elder daughter married and I thought that now my duties were going to lessen but after a year or so, I was given another job, that of a grandmother. While the job of a grandmother isn’t as challenging as that of a mom, it has its challenges too.

The biggest responsibility of a grandma is to love, nurture and spoil her grandkids. I do my best to fulfill my duties by helping my children when they need a nanny to help them out. In case of my grandson, my duties are different due to the unique circumstances of their situation. For him, I’m a part-time mom too, a tutor for helping him learn Urdu, teaching him Quran, and also a confidant! I’m also his student where he tries to teach my how to play different video games that he loves.

These are the details of my “career” I doubt that I will retire any time soon. Probably till I am fit and able to handle my “duties”.

Not me! But you get the idea

Written for FPQ # 152, hosted by Fandango.

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Sharing my worlds and views

Melanie, our gracious host of SYW has asked the following questions this week;

Welcome to Share Your World! 

Questions

Who do you think is an example of a successful person?

Any person who is content in life has enough to live by, and owes nothing to anyone. He could be a billionaire or an average person. The key to success is contentment.

Why are you doing what you’re currently doing? (take this in any context you like, either as a “what you’re doing RIGHT NOW THIS SECOND” or “what you’re doing in your life at this point” or any other way that occurs to you. The question is a bit ambiguous..)

Right now I’m cooking dinner, writing my post and would be leaving to pick up my grandson in about half an hour. In general terms, I’m living a relaxed life with nothing much to do other than supervise my grandson, look after the meals, and blog. Overall, enjoying life!

What is your personal theme song?

Any current song that clicks with me. Right now, I like this song from ;

One Republic;

What do you think about tofu?

I think I am the only one who is going to say that I love tofu. Being an almost vegetarian, tofu is a great option as a meat substitute. I like it with noodles, as a gravy and In soup. The trick is to choose the right one ( I like firm or extra firm) and to cook it right.

GRATITUDE SECTION (as always, optional)

Where did you find bliss this past week?

Last two week were the winter break. We went to Lahore and met all the family there. Had a wonderful time there. Met Dinky too, who is now a fully grown cat.

Thanks Melanie for these interesting questions.

#Keepitalive

#SYW

My first share of 2022

Melanie is our gracious host of SYW

Welcome to Share Your World!

Evil Squirrel is offering four or five different questions this week for you to answer.  He is channeling five Nest Critters to do so.  

QUESTIONS  (NEWEST AND FINAL  E.S. BATCH FROM DECEMBER 2021)

Ricky “The Pious” Raccoon asks a two parter:    (12-2-2021)

What frivolous, but annoying thing that people do be considered a sin (crime)?  
And how should violators be made to repent (be punished) for it?   

Thin people who eat loads of food and don’t gain a pound. They should be punished by making them diet and abstain from all their favorite foods.

Mary “The Poster Lamb For Cute” (12-9-2021) asks

Imagination IN and impracticality and logic aside, if you could pick one animal to have as an exotic pet based solely on how cute and adorable it is, what would it be?

I would love to have a cute and cuddly panda for a pet!

The Sponkies (the result of an unusual pairing of a donkey and a sparkle pony)  12-16-2021

Do you have any siblings?  If so, where do you rank in birth order?  And do you think either of these facts contributed to the person you became?

I have three brothers. One older and two younger than me. Being the only girl made me into a responsible person growing up. My elder brother was very wild and the younger ones were quite subdued. I was the balanced one! 😎

12-23-2021   ZAC (short for Prozac because his somewhat maniacal grinning face is rather creepy)…

We all have things that make us happy, but what makes you deliriously, giddily, tail wagging-ly happy?

Kindness and harmony between my children makes me very happy. As all grown up adults, they have their ups and downs in relationships but when they all are kind to each other, I feel content.

Or you can give me lots of good quality chocolates and I will be very happy.

Evil Squirrel (and the final question from E.S. “Nest” o’ fun!)   12-30-2021

If you had an alter ego, who or what would it be? Describe some fun or interesting things about them!

My alter ego would be a reckless character, living in the moment without a care for tomorrow. She would go on adventures, do risky things and won’t have any responsibilities.

GRATITUDE SECTION  (ALWAYS OPTIONAL)

What are some hopes or accomplishments you’d like to see happen in 2022?

I hope that people finally realize that they all need to be careful regarding Covid; get vaccinated, wear masks and avoid crowds.

I also hope that we try to come to grips with the environmental issues our world is facing, seriously.

I also hope that this year brings peace, joy and contentment to us all.

Can you guess which character this is from a Sega game?

A drawing generously donated by my grandson for my blog.

Thanks Melanie for such fun questions.

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#SYW

New year’s resolutions; Yes or no?

This week Fandango, for FPQ # 150 asks us;

Do you plan on making any New Year’s resolutions this year. If so, can you share a few of them with us? If not, why not?

I think I have asked a similar question on my Sunday Poser last year.

Sunday Poser # 6

In this post I explained why I don’t make any new year’s resolutions and what I do instead.

For me, making New Year’s resolutions seems like an exercise in futility. Never have I stuck to these resolutions for more than a few weeks. So why do something you know is going to fail? Besides, at my age there aren’t any goals that I feel I will be able to meet by these resolutions!

The only reason I will take prompt action to make a change in my lifestyle would be a warning from my doctor. He/she may frighten me enough to give up carbs altogether or reduce my weight drastically because I may fall seriously ill.

My modus operandi is to have short term goals. Like walk 10,000 steps a day for a month so that it becomes a habit. Or go to bed at 10;00 pm to keep my sleep app happy. Simple, achievable targets that I can do easily. And if I don’t, I am not downcast or disheartened.

This is what I do. What is the way you approach new year’s resolutions?

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Sharing my world- Holiday Edition

Melanie is our gracious host for SYW

SHARE YOUR WORLD QUESTION

What is your least favorite holiday side dish? (for any holiday)

Meat! I have absolutely no liking for red meat like mutton or beef and don’t like them being served on Eid lunch that we hold for our family. But it’s the tradition and not everyone is averse to it. So I make sure there are plenty of options for non meat lovers on the table.

What is the ugliest or most tasteless decoration you’ve ever seen?

I won’t pass any judgment on the style of decorations people may prefer. We each have a different taste and what one person may not like, the other may be loving.

What is a cherished or unusual (either or both) family tradition from your childhood? (this is the recycled Evil Squirrel question that got bungled by moi, and sounded like a packaging question. My bad).

Chand raat used to be one cherished tradition in our country. Like Christmas eve, on the night before Eid-ul-Fitr, after sighting the eid moon people would flock to shops to buy henna and bangles. We would also get sweets ( mithai) for eid day. There would be people who would put henna ( Mehndi) on the hands of girls and women. But times have changed and most people now stay away from shops on chand raat.

You’re walking down the street, feeling great — what holiday song would be playing in the background? (aw, play along. I realize some of you prefer a very silent night. It is an option to pass on this question too. No offense will be taken). 🤶🏻

I’ll pass on this one.

GRATITUDE SECTION    (Always optional)

Feel Free To Share Anything That You’d Like Today! Wish Someone A Happy Holiday! 🎄

I would like to wish everyone peaceful holidays. If you celebrate Christmas or just enjoy the winter break, may these days be happy and contented. Be kind and be generous with your feelings of forgiveness and acceptance.

Happy holidays everyone. Relax and enjoy the peace.

#Keepitalive

#SYW

Friends- Past and present

This post reminds me how lucky I’ve been in finding good friends all my life.

My father was in the civil service of Pakistan and we didn’t stay too long in one place in my early childhood. So till grade 3, we had lived in four cities already. By the time I was in grade 3, my father got posted to Islamabad and we stayed here till I completed my high school and moved to Lahore to join med school.

The girls I was studying with in primary and secondary school are still in touch with me. Some of them were/are casual acquaintances while a couple of them are so close to me, like my sisters.

Then there is a group of friends with whom I shared a room in the med school hostel. We spend 4 years living together in a hostel room and it strengthened our bond to the degree that we stopped being just friends but became family. There are times, when we don’t talk to each other for months but when we do, it’s like we are picking up a conversation we were having just yesterday. I consider this friendship as kinship. With them, I forget that I have no sister.

I have another set of friends that I made quite recently, that’s like last 18-20 years. these lovely ladies were my neighbors. We met through the neighboring network, called kitty/ committee party. It’s a thing in my country that people ( mostly women) meet up once a month and each of them gives a fixed amount, all this amount is then handed over to the person who’s name is drawn from the lot. You can say that it is a way of socializing and saving money. So these friends are my mature age friends and I connected to them because I found things common between us. Our way of thinking was similar and so were our values. I talk to them almost weekly, if not more and we share our joys and troubles.

And lastly there is a group of friends that I made when I was introduced to the wives of my husband’s friends. Some, like Dr Tanya become good friends while others are acquaintances. I connected with Tanya on a lot of levels. We both are from medical field, both love to read( and our tastes in literature are similar too) and now we both blog on the same platform.

Indeed, I am very lucky in finding great friends.

Written for Throwback Thursday- Friendships hosted by Maggie and Lauren

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My heritage

For her second writing Prompt, Ebar asks;

What lessons do you appreciate learning from your parents?

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After my mother passed away when I was around 6, my father was the one who brought me up, along with my siblings.

He was a very gentle and thoughtful man. Very kind to everyone around him, and specially kind to his family. He was a dutiful son, a caring brother, and a wonderful father. He was strict but never harsh. All these character traits were transferred into his children, not by verbalization but by setting a good example.

He taught me my life values. Taught me to have confidence in myself and to be proud of my achievements. He trusted me and my decisions so I learned to trust myself. The biggest gift he gave me was my value system. My faith and my moral values are my biggest assets in life and this is my inheritance that my father left me. He died 18 years ago but his values live in his children.

I think this is a wonderful way to live after dying.

1964-65

My parents ( May they both Rest In Peace) with their three children. I’m the chubby one in the front

Ebar’s 2nd writing prompt;

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