The impact of fear and/or anger

Tranquil Thursday

This week Maggie asks;

How have fear, anxiety and anger played a role in your life and how have you managed those responses?

All three emotions have played a role in my life.


I don’t fear things ( except ferociously barking dogs) but I feared making people unhappy or upset with me. I’ve written about this before as well and I now realize that it’s part of my inherent nature, and also a consequence of how I lost my mother as a young child.

I have recently realized the futility of this fear and am working on making myself rise above this desire to seek approval from everyone. It’s hard at my age but it’s an effort I need to make.


My fear of upsetting people gave birth to social anxiety. My anxiety manifested itself as repeated headaches/migraines-type symptoms with such pain that I would have to miss school. This went on till I was a young mom and my husband had to rush me to the ER to get painkillers injections in the middle of the night, many times.

It was with the help of my late father-in-law that I started to loosen the grip of this anxiety and got rid of those intense headaches. He was a great visionary who could see life clearly and would offer advice and comfort to anyone seeking it.


Luckily, anger was the least of my problems. I rarely get angry and even when I do it’s usually hidden inside my heart and not expressed. I feel that anger is a very destructive emotion and harms us more than it harms others. A few times that I’ve gotten angry and spoken out are the times I’ve regretted deeply. Now I try to keep quiet when I do get angry, and thankfully it is rare.


In response to; Tranquil Thursday # 13, hosted by Maggie



50 thoughts on “The impact of fear and/or anger

    1. Thanks Elizabeth. Yes those were tough times but it’s all a learning process. I learned how unimportant the opinions of others were and how important it was for me to look after my own health.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I had a lot of anxiety too but I’ve been able to work on it and get better. The anxiety is always there but I’ve learnt to not let it stop me anymore.
    Great post and thank you for sharing your own experiences with us.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I truly admire you openness in sharing Sadje … I was a people pleaser for many years. Now I realise that we all have different tendencies and some ppl will never be pleased 🙂

    What a blessing your FIL was! My anger is much improved but still simmers time to time, you were blessed to have so little.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Kate. Indeed I was/ am very blessed with my in laws and my husband in my life. I don’t regret my early life or young adulthood as I learned a lot of valuable lessons from it.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. All emotions need space. Fear, anxiety and anger can help us to learn about ourselves and others.
    I think I used to be fearless… Now I am more careful, taking less risk is important as we ‘age’.
    Anxiety has a place, but we cannot let it become overwhelming. Sometimes the brain just works overtime and finding good ways to distract ourselves could be a good solution. Anger… I used to hold too much inside, let it build up. Then ‘Poof” – but once I realize that there was that danger, I have tried very hard not to let anger be a controling force, because it can only do more harm than good.

    I think we are always growing. And when we learn to help ourselves, then we can help others. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a great post to be so insightful! I absolutely agree with you on anger! Not many people know this, but I was quiet an angry teenager. I regret a lot of how I acted. I didn’t anything harmful to myself or others, but I just wish I had realised that other’s people actions were not a reflection on me. I wasted a lot of time being angry. I get why I was angry, but I wish I hadn’t been! Luckily we are both still alive and can work on anything we want!
    How lovely was your father in law! We sometimes underestimate men.

    Liked by 1 person

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