Sunday Poser # 131- people pleaser?

About me, My question, Sunday Poser

Welcome back to another Sunday Poser

This week my question is;

Are you a people pleaser?

In my personal opinion, this road leads to misery because you cannot please everyone all the time. I would characterize myself as a recovering people pleaser.

I can blame my personality flaw on the fact that I grew up without a mother who would/ might have given me the confidence to be myself at all times, instead of seeking approval from others. Or perhaps it was an inherent trait.

Nevertheless, I have realized that this is a weakness that leads to being unhappy most of the time. As the saying goes; “……You cannot please all the people all the time”, so it had to change. I’m proud to say that I’m ( I think) 50% there. Who knows, maybe I’ll get rid of this weakness before I kick the bucket!

Are YOU a people pleaser or it doesn’t matter to you that people around you are unhappy with you? Do you want to just do the right thing and not worry about it’s impact on others?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section or you can write your own post and link it to this one so that I can find it.

As usual, thanks of visiting and reading.

#Keepitalive

#SundayPoser

Published by Sadje

I am writing to express my opinion, share my experiences and to maybe provide some insight. My blog is addressing women at 50 ( but men are welcome to read my posts) ,their issues and the questions that come up at this stage in life. I don’t aim to teach, but to learn together.

Published

96 thoughts on “Sunday Poser # 131- people pleaser?”

    1. Is this a issue more prevalent in women? Mothers, have the job of giving confidence to their children. Mine died too young. But yours should have been a support for you.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. Mine never understood me, or my choices. She told me everyday that I was not loveable. I found out later, that she thought she was protecting me.

        Liked by 1 person

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    1. It is very difficult. I think one should try to teach children not to try to please everyone. Maybe that will be the right time to start. I’m still trying my best

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  19. “How can I help?” is my motto, but I have definite boundaries to keep myself from getting taken advantage of. I love to lavish time and whatever the closest to me need, but I am very stingy when it comes to people outside my circle. Having said that, if something tugs at my heartstrings or is a dire circumstance, I will usually help however I can.

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  21. Regarding “pleasing people”, I remember my initial days in blogging.
    I was active 24×7 for continuously three months.
    It affected my mental health badly. And it took me enough, long time, to get away from my ‘blogging addiction’.
    So I’m not a people pleasure person.
    It should not be confused with my general kindness which I express to almost everyone in my life.

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    1. That’s really good to know Lokesh. Being kind is different from trying to please everyone. And our own wellbeing is more important than fulfilling any perceived obligation towards others. Thanks for sharing your thoughts

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  22. My mother always told me that no one could make me happy but me. She also impressed upon me to be kind and giving. I think there are lines that are so easily blurred and it isn’t always the person giving that blurs them, rather the people who take…

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  26. Thanks for sharing your insights, Sadje.

    As for me, actually I am a bit of it and not. For my loved ones I’ll do anything to keep them happy. As for the rest, I don’t try to please them, at the same time I try not to hurt too.

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  30. Recovered. Oh yes, fully recovered. But I will say yes more readily than I’d say no if I like the person and I’ll give 💯% too. So am I or am I not?
    == no really, when I can’t I can’t and will say so! Lovely nudge to answer. Thanks.

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  31. It takes a lot of strength to do the right thing when it goes against the ‘norm’ of those around you. I still struggle with trying to adapt to what those around me need me to be. 💞

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    1. Too true Dawn. Actually there are 2 sides to this issue. One to say no when you need to for your own sake, and the other is always looking at other to provide validation. Both are a burden on us.

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  33. I used to try and (with family especially) bring people together. And it worked to some exent. Now though I am more of an outcast. Since I have chosen not to put up with undue grief. I ask when the best time is that I can call, I ask questions in emails, I write notes – that never get answered. As the saying goes “stick a fork in me, I’m done.” Same with when I was in various jobs. I always tried to do my best, but there was always a slacker who got away with something. After a while it just wasn’t worth it to try and figure out the reasoning of (who ever was at the time) the boss.

    “…a recovering people pleaser.” I like that!

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  37. I can’t say I am a recovering people pleaser but it is one of the things I am working on… so, in recovery I guess. I always thought I would be happy if everyone else was too.

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