Sunday Poser # 114

Welcome back to another Sunday Poser

This week my question is;

What do you think works better; Criticizing or praising?

When things aren’t going as you like them to, what is the better way to make people realize their error; Praise them in a positive way to make them realize their mistake or criticize their method?

In the heat of the moment, I’m known to directly criticize people. But I feel that makes them resentful and it’s less likely that they would change the way they are doing their job. If however, in an inspired moment I give them a positive feedback, praise what they are doing and suggest that things would be much better if they did it ‘that’ way, it works much better.

How do you handle such situations? Do you directly point out the flaw in the way they are doing something or go about it in a diplomatic way?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section or you can write your own post and link it to this one so that I can find it.

As usual, thanks of visiting and reading.



79 thoughts on “Sunday Poser # 114

  1. It depends what the goal is. If you want to have a good relationship with a friend or family member, then praise works better, followed by a suggestion. If it’s a one-off encounter to get satisfaction as a customer, then get straight to the complaint. No need to compliment someone’s shoes first!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Haha, in my limited experience, I can state that a constructive critique should be considered in order to take yourself higher=intelligence. But a person that absolutely gets upset especially most of the time when criticized, has an arrogance that they are never wrong. And that, is a person that will never be in a close relationship with me. I will avoid them. When I receive criticism, I humbly consider it and then decide if it is beneficial and adjust my thinking pattern when required.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I do both. I acknowledge the creativity that was shown and suggest ways to streamline it. My way isn’t always the right way, and it’s incumbent upon me to recognize that. And human happiness is increased with some freedom of expression. Do it however you want. You fall short, explain what you did and why. Knowing you fell short is enough criticism from me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t beleive the options need to be mutually exclusive. It’s a matter of understanding your audience. Sometime people need that gentle encouragement that comes with constructive criticism. With other people that little bit of encourangement is all they hear and they take it as approval. With the latter sometime brutal but honest criticism is the only option.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Sadje,

    I always liked the path of love, from my side and from the people side.

    Showing or reflecting a person his or her “critical points” is important, as it helps in bringing up improvements.

    Shouting impatiently only because the person in front of you is weak, is not the correct way.
    A forcible work results in terrible mistakes.

    Some people have iron heart and some have cold minds.
    At some points, collectively, “we agree to live together by equal rules, morals and values”.

    Usually I fear and hesitate to try things at first. But I have improved slowly with time.

    I recognised critical points of my maths teacher, and never cheated in the exam, despite, I struggled to pass the exam on boundary.

    So this is my story and answer to your question.
    Thank you for sharing.😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Lokesh for sharing your thoughts. I agree that we need to moderate out thoughts and of course our language. I wish you all the best in your studies, especially maths.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I think it depends on the situation, and the person, as indicated above. As a lecturer/teacher I’m regularly giving feedback. I believe it’s important to be clear about where there are problems with their work but I also ensure I provide detailed constructive criticism so they know how to improve and what to do. The system I work within they basically need to pass all criteria so it’s quite common to have students who need to redo work. Detailed feedback allows them to improve in future work beyond the specific assessment

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I feel that both have their place, but regardless, they should be about the situation at hand, not the person. I have been at the receiving end of excessive personal praise from my parents and it hurt my feelings as much as personal criticism does. I tend to personally find it easier to deliver criticism, so am working on also showing my praise.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Honestly, even then it should be about how well a child has done, not how great a child is. In my experience, my parents’ excessive and person-directed praise (and person-directed criticism when I didn’t do well) created intense pressure.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. I always start with what someone did right and in the end that works best. UNLESS, it is a huge blunder and I might say. “We need to talk, this is NOT ok” loudly. Still I usually want to understand what happened and where they were coming from first. ❣️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I get resentful, so I tend to blame myself to the person, then say maybe we should have done it this way. It’s probably not the best technique though

    Liked by 1 person

  10. It depends on the situation. Undue praise isn’t constructive while criticism too has its pitfalls. I was brought up in the school of a job well done is praise in itself, never expect praise and learn from your mistakes. However, there is a trend to praise with abandon and likewise, criticize unduly because people mix up opinion and criticism. It is not easy to criticise constructively.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Having grown up with mostly negative or no responses by close relatives, I had to rely on teachers for positive feed back. I aimed to please them. Those who chose to keep distance or give negative responses got the same back when they wanted help.

    How one asks is important. I remember one time when I believe if I were asked directly to do something I didn’t want to do – just because it was from a parent – I would have done it. But I was given the choice – and right or wrong chose not to help. Mostly as a result of the person who had asked wasn’t very supportive of me (at least that was how I felt).

    One catches more flies with honey than with vinegar… so the saying goes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry that you grew up in an environment where you weren’t given positive encouragement. Children do need that to develop self confidence! You’re so right that positive reinforcement works better than negative feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

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