Regretting my decisions?

prompts, Sadje's View, You Asked

Have you ever made a decision on a whim that turned out to change your life? If so, what was that life-changing decision? Can you imagine what your life would be like if you hadn’t made that decision?

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I am sure I’ve written about this before too.

I got married when I was in 4th year of my 5 years medical degree. Though it was not a decision made on a whim, it did change the direction of my life completely.

The decision to get married was made because my father wanted it so. In my culture, marriages are often arranged by parents and the children comply. So it was that just before my 4th year exams, I got married. I did have plans to complete my degree after marriage but fate stepped in and for one reason or the other it didn’t happen.

From my dream of becoming a surgeon, I ended up being a wife, mom, and now a grandmother. I never regretted my decision and have used my medical knowledge all through my life, helping my family and friends with my ( free) advice and often practically too.

I feel that I’ve contributed a lot towards maintaining good health of my family and if I were a qualified doctor, I might have not been that helpful for those around me due to the demands of my medical profession.

At the end of the day, I do feel that this was what was destined for me and I never hanker after what could’ve been.

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In response to FPQ # 187, hosted by Fandango

#Keepitalive

#FPQ

Published by Sadje

I am writing to express my opinion, share my experiences and to maybe provide some insight. My blog is addressing women at 50 ( but men are welcome to read my posts) ,their issues and the questions that come up at this stage in life. I don’t aim to teach, but to learn together.

Published

89 thoughts on “Regretting my decisions?”

  2. I agree, congratulations on finding the good in life. The role of wife, mother, and grandmother are incredibly important, they don’t get enough credit. However, even with being an optimist, did you ever wonder what-if? I ask because the concept of an arranged marriage is a foreign one to me. And I know from experience that marriage takes a lot of hard work and drive. Both parties need to put their all into it, or it will not work. In any event, thanks so much for sharing your story!

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    1. Thanks Brian. As I grew up in this culture, even nowadays most marriages are arranged by parents, with input from the two people getting married. It is a relationship that does require work no matter where you start from.
      I was so happy with my role as a mom that I never regretted giving up my studies.

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  6. I love you haven’t ever second guessed yourself Sadje!
    I was fortunate to stay home with my kids and keep my bus. running minimally until the time came I could expand again. What a gift you have given them and I so agree. Staying home with them is not glamorous and acknowledged but you have gifted them with your devotion and health. So many don’t have a choice and the day cares spread germs exponentially!
    Good for you!
    💗

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  7. Same thing happened to my mother though long before you were born. Some cultural imperatives never change but I’m glad you made your peace with it and not only that, used your knowledge to make people around you thrive. How valuable!

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        1. That is so true. And this was what my father said to me on my wedding day. I’ve always striven to keep up to date with new medical information and have used this knowledge to the best of my abilities.

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  13. That is wonderful. I too have no regrets as hard as my life has been at times. I am happy and have a blessed life and I feel every thing that I have done has lead and prepared me for this time of life. Great question. Have an amazing weekend. ❤️🦋

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  15. I am glad your life turned out the way it was supposed to. I just wish there were more doctors like you – your bedside manner could make someone on Death’s Door ready to sit up just to give you a hug and a thank you!

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      1. It’s the truth. If even one of the doctors that dealt with my mother had your bedside manner, there would have been one less doctor I chased out of her room. You’d be the only doctor allowed to stay, even if I disagreed with every single thing you said, you would say it with compassion and humanity, and that goes farther than all the degrees on the planet.

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            1. Yes, that’s true. I know so many doctors and most of them kind. But you do find the callous ones too. Perhaps being exposed to too many stressful situations robs them of their humanity

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              1. Or,they were drawn to the profession because they knew their skill could perhaps outweigh their lack of compassion and because of the job, people would forgive it. A callous doctor who saves your life i still someone who saved your life

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                1. No I think it’s the other way around. I’ve seen people harden under the pressure of seeing death up close so many times. They usually start off nicer and more gentler but with circumstances become callous

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  18. I agree with Sobia. You are an inspiration Sadje. I do try to embrace what happens or doesn’t happen in life – in my case children never happened so I decided that rather than wallowing in self pity, to embrace the life I have and enjoy reality. If I want aspects of life to chance, I have some power to make that happen. So focus on the positives of what i have rather than lamenting what I don’t have.

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  19. Pingback: Whimsical Decisions | Marla's World

  22. I feel there are times when we are taken away from our original path for a reason. Your knowledge gained from the medical profession will always be with you, Sadje, and how wonderful you’re willing to share it for the good of others.

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  23. My first choice at school was not for assistant teaching, though that’s what I ended up with and it did come in hand with raising my children and grands. (And even with dealing with other jobs.)

    I would have liked to have had more art education, but I think I’m still crafty. We make choices. All in all I would not change a thing 🙂

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