Sunday Poser # 99

Awareness, Kindness, My question, Sadje's View, Sunday Poser

Welcome back to another Sunday Poser

This week my question is;

What criteria of behavior you set for yourself?

I’ve often felt that we are harder on ourselves than we are on others. When it comes to how we behave with others, we are more critical of even the slightest misstep than if the same thing is done by others.

It used to be true for me. That is a past tense that I’ve used. Now I’m more forgiving towards myself. Courtesy is a must, greeting others with a smile, keeping my anger in control, not blaming others when I can be ( and am) at fault, owning up to my faults and blunders, and trying to always be kind; these are some of my standards that are essential. But when, and I do, slip up, I don’t torture myself. I’d apologize for my mistakes and move on. We all are human and hence make mistakes, so we should forgive ourselves too.

Do you set the bar high? Or do you give yourself leeway as you’d give to a friend, family member or a stranger?

Please share your thoughts in the comments section or you can write your own post and link it to this one so that I can find it.

As usual, thanks of visiting and reading.

#Keepitalive

#SundayPoser

Published by Sadje

I am writing to express my opinion, share my experiences and to maybe provide some insight. My blog is addressing women at 50 ( but men are welcome to read my posts) ,their issues and the questions that come up at this stage in life. I don’t aim to teach, but to learn together.

Published

55 thoughts on “Sunday Poser # 99”

  1. I try to forgive myself for inadvertent mistakes, but there are times I know better and still err. Those mistakes are harder to forgive. As far as other people, except for my daughters whom I always love and admire, I find I must constantly overlook things in order to keep good or at least tolerable relationships…

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    1. Some mistakes are harder to overlook or forgive, your right about that. But beating ourself over them serves no purpose, better to learn and move on.
      As for others, yes, we do have to compromise otherwise we’d be left alone on the peak of perfectionism.

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  3. I have learned to give myself some leeway, but I always set the expectations for myself higher than I do others. I was brought up in a home where the expectations put on me were also higher than anyone else. I think it’s a hard lesson to unlearn.

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  4. I do gree, Sadje.

    We should not be too much hard on ourselves.

    In my case, I have developed a lot of negativity and doubts regarding my character, which was the results of numerous verbal attacks I was facing.

    Unfortunately, these are the contributions of my own friends, teachers and family.

    Being “one” is not problem. You feel “alone” when no one stands for you. Friends & family, they haven’t figured out their true identity.

    We’re dependent on eachother.

    But now I stand for myself. I dream, I learn, and I work on my character. When I speak my words should be taken seriously.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

      1. This happened in the high school. After passing out, some genuine friends. Things started improving from there.

        By standing up I mean standing against our own weaknesses, hesitance and misery.

        Writing helped me throughout this journey. My words used to be bitter, harsh and hopeless.

        Now, I’m exploring my happy, creative and positive side on my blog.

        Thanks to you, my friend.😊

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  5. I like your answer, Sadje, and agree. Keeping emotions in check, forgiving, moving on, kindness & simple courtesy, and — I would add — not expecting perfection from ourselves or others. Humility is not something our culture values anymore, is it? Nor is generosity with ourselves and others. To give the grace that we have been given is something to aspire to for the good of ourselves and our neighbor.
    ~Dora

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  14. Though my bar is high, I often use the words accountability and excellence, there is a known space within me today, which allows for life to happen, to unfold. This means lots of room for error, mishaps, as you write, etc. I can hold space for both today. It’s a wonderful feeling.

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  15. I try to not be too hard on me these days. I have so many physical problems, there’s no sense in my making it worse. Now, all I have to do is get the men in my life to not expect me to be the person I used to be. They really do know better, but they expect what they expect.

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  16. We always set the bar higher for self. But self flagellation after a mistake does us no good. I go easy on myself on matters of excellence (in any case the standards vary) but try my level best not to hurt others. If it still happens, I am quick to apologise.

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