A to Z challenge H for Helpful

AtoZChallenge, Awareness, Humor

Personal experiences, incidents and smiles

Hey, let me help you with this!

Do you offer to help even when not asked?

I do it all the time. It could be that I want to be the good guy who steps in when someone is in need. Or maybe I have the inner compulsion to please others? Who can say for sure! Even I cannot completely analyze my own reasons.

Doing small things like holding the door open for someone or picking up something they dropped is very common and most people would do it. Helping out with money when you see someone short is another way to help. But the most common way for me to help others is to offer them advice!

But not everyone wants unsolicited advice. I didn’t get this at first. But over the years, having negative reactions to my free advice has made me realize that I should NOT offer helpful advice without being asked for it.

So there’s something as being too helpful. Better wait till someone needs your help or advice and asks for it. Sometimes people can even be offended if you hold the door open for them!

Do you go out of your way to help others? Please share!

#Keepitalive

#AtoZChallenge

Published by Sadje

I am writing to express my opinion, share my experiences and to maybe provide some insight. My blog is addressing women at 50 ( but men are welcome to read my posts) ,their issues and the questions that come up at this stage in life. I don’t aim to teach, but to learn together.

Published

71 thoughts on “A to Z challenge H for Helpful”

  1. i am like this too, in so many ways. as far as advice, i learned over time, that people will ask for my advice if they want it, but the great majority of the time, they just want me to listen.

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  3. I am not sure if I am answering your question, Sadje. But, I think that going out of one’s way to offer help/advice is part of the mothering instinct us women have whether we have kids or no. Although advice may be spurned or untimely, I think that the heart of love to share words of wisdom is appreciated even by those, perhaps who spurn such attempts outwardly.

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  4. I’d say I’m polite and helpful about little things like holding a door open or saying excuse me and things like that. I don’t think I give advice. I have no solutions to anyone’s problems, really. All I can do is relate a similar story if I’ve had the same thing happen to me. Doubt that’s advice, but shows I can sure emphasize with them. 🙂

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  5. Funny thing about advice, in my case more times than not when my friends call it’s to ask for advice. Very rare do I get “shooting the breeze” kinda calls. And absolutely agreed, best to refrain from giving unsolicited advice. Great piece!!!!

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  15. I agree with the little helpful things you’ve mentioned. But, when it comes to matters of importance, I don’t prefer help or sometimes advices until asked. I expect my space and some silence, and am not sure if that hurts people around. However, I don’t shy away from asking for help when I need.

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  18. I used to be a very helpful person until people started taking advantage of me for my kindness. After years of being used by people, I did a 180° shift and stopped helping people I know. I still hold the door for people and im kind to strangers, but im weary of my loved ones’ intentions because I’ve been used too many times. However, I do freely offer my expertise and sometimes my family takes advantage of that. An example is a yesterday I visited my sister because she begged me to visit her so I can occupy her while she prepares iftar. So I visited her despite having a migraine and we sat in the living room only after 2 hours when I was getting up to leave did she remind me that she wanted to prepare food and wanted me to sit with her in the kitchen. I had a full-blown migraine by then and needed a nap so I said sorry I can’t. Then after my nap with my moms (they live near each other), I was telling my mom what happened and she started making me feel bad for not sitting with my sister in the kitchen, so I said “ok call her and tell her if she didn’t prep the food yet, to come over and I will sit with her and occupy her while she does it”. So my mom called my sister and told her ” come over, sajida is going to help you prep the food” (notice the wordplay?) And then when my sister finally came an hour later with sweets for my son and the food to be prepped, she just sat there and chatted with my mom while I prepped the whole thing. Do you see how I was taken advantage of for my kindness?

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