Personal experiences, incidents and smiles


Hey, let me help you with this!
Do you offer to help even when not asked?
I do it all the time. It could be that I want to be the good guy who steps in when someone is in need. Or maybe I have the inner compulsion to please others? Who can say for sure! Even I cannot completely analyze my own reasons.
Doing small things like holding the door open for someone or picking up something they dropped is very common and most people would do it. Helping out with money when you see someone short is another way to help. But the most common way for me to help others is to offer them advice!
But not everyone wants unsolicited advice. I didn’t get this at first. But over the years, having negative reactions to my free advice has made me realize that I should NOT offer helpful advice without being asked for it.
So there’s something as being too helpful. Better wait till someone needs your help or advice and asks for it. Sometimes people can even be offended if you hold the door open for them!
Do you go out of your way to help others? Please share!
#Keepitalive
#AtoZChallenge
i am like this too, in so many ways. as far as advice, i learned over time, that people will ask for my advice if they want it, but the great majority of the time, they just want me to listen.
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Thanks Beth. Exactly my story.
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I actually don’t go out of my way to help. I’ll ask once if any is needed and that’s all. I never just “jump in” ~ my mom did that and it really annoyed people, including me!
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You’ve learned not to give advice by watching your mom! I think that’s why my kids don’t give advice either 😂
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Haha
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😃
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I am not sure if I am answering your question, Sadje. But, I think that going out of one’s way to offer help/advice is part of the mothering instinct us women have whether we have kids or no. Although advice may be spurned or untimely, I think that the heart of love to share words of wisdom is appreciated even by those, perhaps who spurn such attempts outwardly.
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I think that you’re very right Suzette, it’s an instinct in us. I don’t know if others appreciate it or not but I feel that if I can, I should help others.
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I absolutely agree.👍
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💕💖
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😊
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I’d say I’m polite and helpful about little things like holding a door open or saying excuse me and things like that. I don’t think I give advice. I have no solutions to anyone’s problems, really. All I can do is relate a similar story if I’ve had the same thing happen to me. Doubt that’s advice, but shows I can sure emphasize with them. 🙂
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I think that it is enough to be polite. Sometimes telling about our own experiences does helps others too
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Funny thing about advice, in my case more times than not when my friends call it’s to ask for advice. Very rare do I get “shooting the breeze” kinda calls. And absolutely agreed, best to refrain from giving unsolicited advice. Great piece!!!!
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It’s the same with me too. Friends want advice, medical advice often and family doesn’t want it!!!! 🤓🤪
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Yes. I love helping people too. But just as you’ve said, quite a lot of people don’t appreciate a good piece of advice, especially when it’s built on truth.
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You’ve said it! They don’t want to hear what they are doing wrong. I now keep my views too myself unless they ask.
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It’s terrible indeed when your good advice lands on a rock and bounces back to you.
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Yes, it is. But one is satisfied that we did what we could.
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Only when you the advice has found a some ground and not thrown back to you like a piece of stone, imagine with insults 😓 it once happened to me and I felt sorry for myself, i felt bad for doing it. Hah
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Yes, the human reaction can be unpredictable.
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I tell you. Very unpredictable 😄 🙏
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😅
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I have learned to say “Would you like to know what I think?”
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It’s a good opening line
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It gives the other person the choice.
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Yes, must remember this.
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A great post, Sadje 😊 can relate in many aspects. 🌷🌷
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Thanks June
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Yes, I love to help others. Usually it’s simple like giving someone a bag of food..or a truthful compliment.
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That’s great! Thanks for joining
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I totally relate to this, Sadje. Most times people just want a good listener and often don’t like being told the truth. I am always helping people out.
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Thanks Punam. Yes, you’re absolutely right
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You are welcome.
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😍🌺
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I am the same. Always have been. Like you, I too learned over the years to give my help and assistance when asked for. Thanks for sharing, Sadje.
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Thanks Jeff. Very true indeed, offer when asked.
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Welcome, Sadje. Indeed, and agreed.
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😃
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I don’t advise unless asked to. Even then I usually ask enough questions that the ones asking figure things out on their own.
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That’s a good way to help others. Thanks
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It’s a lovely thing to do and if we all did it, the world would be a better place to be. 💖💖💖
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Thanks a lot Cindy 🌸
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You’re so welcome e!💕❤️
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😃
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So true, Sadje–advice should be given sparingly if at all, and a wise person waits to be asked for it.
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You’re right. I’ve learned to keep my opinions to myself
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Me too!
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👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
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I agree with the little helpful things you’ve mentioned. But, when it comes to matters of importance, I don’t prefer help or sometimes advices until asked. I expect my space and some silence, and am not sure if that hurts people around. However, I don’t shy away from asking for help when I need.
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That’s I think the correct way to do it.
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I’m glad to hear that from you! (:
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Thanks
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I listen, often people just need to talk and know that they’re being heard
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That is so true. Thanks
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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I used to be a very helpful person until people started taking advantage of me for my kindness. After years of being used by people, I did a 180° shift and stopped helping people I know. I still hold the door for people and im kind to strangers, but im weary of my loved ones’ intentions because I’ve been used too many times. However, I do freely offer my expertise and sometimes my family takes advantage of that. An example is a yesterday I visited my sister because she begged me to visit her so I can occupy her while she prepares iftar. So I visited her despite having a migraine and we sat in the living room only after 2 hours when I was getting up to leave did she remind me that she wanted to prepare food and wanted me to sit with her in the kitchen. I had a full-blown migraine by then and needed a nap so I said sorry I can’t. Then after my nap with my moms (they live near each other), I was telling my mom what happened and she started making me feel bad for not sitting with my sister in the kitchen, so I said “ok call her and tell her if she didn’t prep the food yet, to come over and I will sit with her and occupy her while she does it”. So my mom called my sister and told her ” come over, sajida is going to help you prep the food” (notice the wordplay?) And then when my sister finally came an hour later with sweets for my son and the food to be prepped, she just sat there and chatted with my mom while I prepped the whole thing. Do you see how I was taken advantage of for my kindness?
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I can see it and it’s not nice of them.
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Yeah…problem is they do it all the time and in such subtle ways that sometimes I miss it until it’s too late and im put in a position that im the bad guy if I say no.
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You should plan a strategy to decline it politely.
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I will be more careful in the future and learn how to say no politely. I’m working on being more assertive.
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Very true. And you should also ask for their help too. To balance the scales
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True
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👍🏼
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I sincerely think most people like and accept help when it’s needed but I usually ask “May I help?” first. Same with giving advice because some people just don’t want it.
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Indeed, that’s how it should always be
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Yes, absolutely.
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🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
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It is always good to help others, so long as they don’t come to expect it.
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Good point Leigha. We shouldn’t make them dependent on us.
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