This week Fandango asks a very profound question;
What has been the most difficult, hardest, or most painful decision you’ve ever had to make in your life?
I have often written about the hardships I’ve faced in my life; losing my mom at an early age, a step mom that I didn’t get along with, physical illnesses and then some family circumstances that were quite trying and testing.
But these things happened to me where I had no say in the matter. I didn’t had to make a decision in any of them.
I think the hardest decision I had to make was moving to Seattle with my elder daughter and grandson. My two younger children were still unmarried and I had to choose my elder daughter over them. It was hard in the sense that it created feelings of resentment in my other children which still lingers. My husband has always been very understanding and supportive of my decision but there is always sibling rivalry and that has affected my relationship with my younger children. And though they are now parents themself, there is a feeling I often get that they feel I have showed favoritism.
And the most painful decision I had to take, that caused literally lots of physical pain was going for knee replacements. I absolutely had no idea when I elected to have my right knee replaced at the age of 50. It was truly painful in the extreme for three days. On the fourth day, the pain level, magically reduced to manageable level. And despite this experience, three and a half years later I got my left knee replaced. The second time around, it wasn’t that bad because;
a) I knew what was coming
b) I asked for self injecting morphine drip which helped me manage my pain.
Other than these, I cannot recall that I had to decide something that carried hardships or pain for me. But then I have notoriously bad memory. Maybe I have blanked it out because it was that painful?
Written for FPQ # 153, hosted by Fandango