I recently made a self-discovery that made many things clear to me.

Why do we tell things, our personal experiences to others?

And sometimes we tell them to some people and not others?

I suddenly had an epiphany that what we are usually looking for are sympathy and understanding. When we tell a friend or family member about our troubles or aches and pains we want some sympathy from our confidant. Our aim in sharing is not that we expect the other person to lessen our troubles but that they will understand and will show us some sympathy.

But not everyone is going to be sympathetic, so learning from our previous experiences, we tell our troubles only to those who we feel will show us sympathy. It’s not that others aren’t interested in us, the most common issue is that people have enough troubles of their own and due to this they have less time and sympathy to spare.

So when you have the urge to un-burden yourself, choose someone who is;


Has no immediate problems of their own

Loves you and can give good advice

Please remember that if that person qualifies for the last two points but isn’t free, DON’T go to them for sympathy.


A prompt by Sue W and GC; Weekly prompts Weekend Challenge – Discovery

Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.” ~ Erol Ozan



52 thoughts on “Self-Discovery

  1. Yes, I can very much relate to this.
    My only reservation would be with the “has no immediate problems of their own”. Sometimes (I would say often), it is exactly the people who are struggling with their own problems who are more open and willing to just be there for us.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Interesting. I think that some of us are looking for sympathy/a listening ear, while others are looking for advice. When you are looking for sympathy and I give you advice or vice versa, that’s not going to work out even if both of us are well-intentioned.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Beautifully said. Today at the gym, a complete stranger told me there problems. I listened, shook my head in acknowledgment, and parted ways. Two minutes of time, he expressed something bothersome, but just maybe, he can go on with the rest of his day a little less burdened. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 2 people

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