Independence- When did I became independent!

memories, prompts, Sadje's View

This is a golden opportunity for me to highlight the difference between eastern culture and western culture.

In my culture, children are dependent upon their parents till the time they finish their education and get a job. For girls, even if they have a job, they will stay in their parents’ homes till they get married.

I was 23 when I got married. And even then I was dependent upon my husband because I didn’t have a job. In fact, he has been supporting me all through our marriage. So I’m not financially independent even now. I have some money that I inherited from my father but it’s not enough to sustain my needs for long.

Other than financial independence, I have been independent since I became an adult. The fact that I lost my mom at a very early age made me grow up faster than most kids my age. I used to look after my siblings and we supported each other when we were undergoing stress. Hardships hastened my growing up and I became independent mentally quite early on.

As far as thinking goes, I always was an independent thinker. I was allowed to make my own decisions about studies, choice of career ( which never happened), and marriage. My father supported my decisions every time.

Thanks to Maggie and Lauren for hosting this prompt. I enjoy the journey to my yesteryears.

➰➰➰

Maggie and Lauren are the hosts of Throwback Thursday

This week’s prompt is: Independence

#Keepitalive

#TBTMEMORY

Published by Sadje

I am writing to express my opinion, share my experiences and to maybe provide some insight. My blog is addressing women at 50 ( but men are welcome to read my posts) ,their issues and the questions that come up at this stage in life. I don’t aim to teach, but to learn together.

Published

23 thoughts on “Independence- When did I became independent!”

  1. Sadje, I like the way you approached this post. I had not considered how cultural differences would impact this. I think our culture was more similar generations back, but I think the fight for women’s rights had an impact on how independence was viewed. I am curious, though. If a woman outlives her provider, what happens to her then? Thank you so much for participating and sharing your story.

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    1. This was what I wanted to highlight! Woman who are widows or divorced can and do live alone but usually after a certain age. It’s not safe for younger women to live by themself. Thanks

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        1. Oh woman work and hold good jobs too. My daughter is a single mother and has a PHD from university of Washington. She is currently working as a consultant with very good pay. But we aren’t comfortable with her and my grandson living by themselves in Pakistan. When she was in USA, we were fine with it.

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  4. I have been on my own since I was seventeen but not alone. I always knew my family stood by me and would help me if I needed them. I don’t think I would have done as well if they weren’t part of my independent life.

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  5. I am very sorry your growth had to be hastened due to your mother’s untimely passing. But it made you independent, hence worked out for the best, I think. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, to mother yourself and your siblings, at such a tender age.
    I liked how you highlighted the biiig difference between the East and West with this post. Even if we do move to different parts of the country/world for higher studies/ work, we are going to come back home to our parents. 🙂 We financially depend on them for a long time. I also think that is why we outperform majority of our western counterparts in higher education. Loved your answer.

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    1. Thanks Sam. I think you’re right that due to our families supporting us till we are ready to be on our own, definitely tilts the balance in our favor. More people get higher education here than west. The parents foot the Bill.

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    1. It is a comfortable feeling to have a backup cushion in case you need it. Both my culture and my religion puts the responsibility of look after the family on the father/husband but not everyone does it so admirably. I’m grateful that my husband takes his responsibilities so seriously.

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  8. Thank you for joining in Sadje. I didn’t think about culture differences either. It was always hugely important to me to be able to take care of myself and my daughters. When I married young, I knew it was more important to be home with my kids. I wanted my degree so much though. It meant my independence was possible.
    You are such a caring parent. Even though you lost your mother while young, you know how important family is. I admire your strength and great attitude.

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    1. Thank you so much Lauren. I am lucky that my husband always took care of me and kids, and even the grandkids! But I’ve always felt the need to be mentally independent.
      Family is very important and I can not, not step up when my kids need me. I think it’s ingrained in a mother.

      Liked by 1 person

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