Week 23 of Sunday Poser already here!
This week, my question is;
What is your reaction when someone is rude to you?
It’s a fact of life that not everyone is polite. Even the people who we love, or especially the people who love us!
I find it hard to swallow rudeness. If it’s someone I am not close to, I outright point out to them that whatever they want to say, can be said politely as well.
But if it’s someone I am close to, like an old friend or a family member, I feel hesitant in tackling this issue.
Why?
You may ask.
I find that sometimes it can give rise to confrontation and I am always wary of confronting my loved ones. For me, the issue rises from my personality flaw where I want to have a good relationship with my loved ones. I mostly clamp down on my irrigation to rudeness and keep silent. It is probably cowardly but I am being honest here. I hope that on reflection, they would see the error of their ways and apologize.
Sometimes I have to wait a long time for this apology.
So this is my way of dealing with rudeness.
What is yours?
Please share your thoughts in the comments section.
Thanks for reading and visiting.
#Keepitalive
#SundayPoser
Keep it alive 
My usual tactic with negativity in general is avoidance. I would avoid those people. I know it isn’t the best strategy though lol.
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Strangers we can avoid but what to do when it’s family?
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If it’s a child, I want to slap it. If it’s an adult, I want to punch it. I find it unacceptable, but with the possibility of now being charged with assault, I avoid it.
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Haha! Slapping or punching may result in escalation of the situation. Refraining is better. Thanks Di for sharing your views
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That’s why I walk away!!
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Yes, that’s best.
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Tough question…for people I don’t know I will simply remove myself from their presence. If they ask why I’m leaving I tell them bluntly.
For family I have done the same. After my divorce my oldest daughter didn’t accept my new wife. During a visit to her house, she was blatantly rude to my wife. I told her I would not tolerate it from her or anyone else. I never allowed anyone to be rude to her mother – I would not allow it now. My wife and I left her house and didn’t go back for a long time.
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Thank Larry for your forthright reply. It is better to set the ground rules in the beginning.
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Nothing. Saying something will usually escalate the situation, so I prefer to simply get away from someone who is rude and unpleasant.
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I think that’s the best strategy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts
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If it is someone I do not know, I’ll typically walk away. If it someone I do know, I tend to look at them and just say “ouch.”
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Hey I like that Lauren. Ouch seems a perfect reply to rudeness. Thanks for sharing your thoughts
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Any time my friend.
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💖😍
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Here are my thoughts. Yours were more sensible by far and I’m sure your way works best. Good for you! ❤
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Thanks Melanie
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Well, it really depends on the mood I’m in but also, who is being rude. With people I know intensely well, I will normally say “Hey, what’s up? Why are you being rude?” and with concern, because it’s generally out of character. But with a stranger, I generally call them out. Being rude is uncalled for and deserves a response especially if it’s directed at me or especially towards someone vulnerable.
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I think you have the right way to deal with it. Calling out is something which is essential if the behavior is uncalled for. Thanks Susi for sharing your thoughts.
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Thanks, Sadje! Always a pleasure. Have a nice Sunday!
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Thanks, you too my friend
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome 😉
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I’m pretty straight forward, strangers I just say you’re rude and walk away. On the other hand if it’s someone I know I’ll just say why are you being rude, there is usually a reason behind it I have found. In the case of a young child I try and explain why that isn’t good behavior, young adults I just say did your parents teach you to be rude, or are you just being mean.
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Good answers! I think one has to take the issue head on. I just back off because I don’t want things to get worse.
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That’s when “think before you speak” comes into play and it’s never an easy game.
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No, never easy. You’re so right.
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I can really empathize with this. I hate confrontations. Isn’t it funny how we often feel safer with strangers than we do with those close to us when it comes to expressing our feelings? Human beings are so complicated! LOL
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Absolutely right, Carol. Humans are complicated. Some once said that we hurt the people we love, most. I think it’s true as only those we love CAN hurt us, for others we don’t care that much anyway.
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I read somewhere that “hurt people hurt people”. I think there’s a lot of wisdom in that and often anger or rudeness stems from a heart that is hurting. It’s challenging to forgive hurtful words, but forgiveness gives us peace.
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Yes, I agree Carol. People who are hurting often lash out without thought. It’s hard to swallow but compassion needs to be shown to such people.
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Yeah, not always easy to do but it does make things better all around. 🙂
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Exactly, not easy. 👍👍🥰
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❤
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Thanks
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With strangers I generally just let it go, shrug it off. I’m not going to see them again, so why worry.
With my daughters it depends. I may just give them “The Look”, or ask them if they meant to sound so rude, or just say “rude!” With older especially, I sometimes just get super quiet and walk away. She knows I’m upset when I do that.
With Ben, I explain nicer ways to say things, or do things.
I used to be terrified of confrontation and would avoid them at all cost. I still don’t like them, and their not generally productive, but I won’t tolerate people in my life treating me badly because they’re upset over something else. I’m not a whipping post or a doormat!
We all have occasional bad days, and snap without meaning to. Apologize and move on.🤷🏼♀️
Great question, Sadje! I’ve noticed that rudeness seems to be the “standard” in some people. But there are friendly, kind people too. We just have to sort through😉🌷🦋🌻💕
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Telling the other person that you don’t like their tone or words is important. I am not good with telling my family, specially my daughters. I feel that they are already under stress so I should let it go. But I think your way is better. I’ll try to change the way I handle rudeness.
Thanks Angie.
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In my younger years I had to say something and confront the issue. Now I just don’t care. I will move on and ignore you.
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I do that but in my heart I feel bad.
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Must admit confrontations usually effect the innocent party more than the person causing the problem.
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Oh yes, this is absolutely right. That’s why I am wary of taking it head on.
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If it is someone I know, and am really close to, I will say something, dependent on their ability to take constructive criticism. I do have people close to me that would not take it well, and, in these instances, I usually let it go. If it is someone I don’t know, I usually let it go. When I was younger, I always pointed out rude and inappropriate behavior, however, have found that in many instances, people are unable (or unwilling) to change their behavior. So, that is a very long way of saying, it depends! Thanks for the prompt, Sadje.
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This is important, the ability of them to take constructive criticism or not. I’m much like that too. I’d behave according to the person being rude.
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Agreed.
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👍👍
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I think it depends on where and when the rudeness is happening and who is involved. If someone I don’t know is being rude, I usually just move on without comment. If it involves someone I do know, I may ask why they are behaving the way they are and if there is anything I can do to help. That often leads to understanding. But if the rudeness continues, I suggest a change of subject or just tell them I will see them later.
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Walking away from the rude person can sometimes be the solution. Or as you said asking why they are behaving like that. Thanks Patricia for sharing your thoughts
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My reaction to rude behaviour is to try and just let it go so that it doesn’t affect me. However that is easier said then done. If it is someone out of my inner circle I will usually react with how stupid that person is but let it go. However someone close to me I take on personally and get really offended. I react this way whether they are right or not
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Hmm….. our reactions are mostly instinctive. And if we try to control them, it creates a bad feeling in our heats.
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Rudeness is a way of life these days … no, l am not excusing it … as Di said above, l want to slap and punch the fifty shades of shitty out of people, but as Paula said sometimes it is best to simply walk away to avoid further conflict.
Today we had the pubs and restaurants open again … and tonight for the first time in absolute months we had fights outside and people swearing and screaming and yelling in the streets … that’s the height of rudeness in my books, a complete lack of respect for people – that’s what rudeness is – doesn’t matter if it is family or friends.
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Yes, you’re right one feels aggravated but walking away is the best solution. I’m sorry that they have opened the pubs and restaurants. I don’t think it’s safe. And people are venting out their frustration and pent up anger in streets. Stay safe my friend.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts
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That has always been my main concern Sadje, the hospitality industry is where our problems will start to rise again.
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I think you’re right. Too bad though that people themselves aren’t being sensible.
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That’s the point right there – ‘the irresponsibility of people’
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Yes! Totally agree
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I just dealt with a rude relative this week… and I so badly wanted to text a snarky comeback to her but knew that would not solve anything. Just let it go and grinned and barred it.
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With family, this is the most sensible way.
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