I have checked and it seems that I missed this question when it was originally asked.
I have a very dodgy memory.
There are some periods in my past where I don’t have much recollection of day-to-day life. The reason was the onset of my thyroid disease. It’s one of the side effects of hypothyroidism that there is severe memory loss.
If my kids say that this incident happened during those years, I accept it. Though I don’t recall anything like that happening. But I trust them and I am confident that they aren’t gaslighting me. If two out of three are verifying it then it is a sure thing.
As far as memory recollection goes, I think we all have a different version of the same incident. We all look at it from our point of view. So one incident could have affected all the people involved in different ways and would live in the minds of them with different implications.
It never pays to argue about the memories of a given event with someone. They will accuse you of trying to gaslight them.
The end conclusion is that though memories can be manipulated, it is better to let them be as they are. I do trust my recollection of the things that are clear in my mind. Other than that I don’t worry much!