I think after reading a lot of opinions on this question, I am the odd one out!
I have the same criteria for myself as I have for others.
Not that I should be judging anyone else but myself, but if I form an opinion about somebody else’s behavior, I do it on the basis of how I would behave in a similar situation.
What is okay or right for me, it should be okay for others too. Exceptional or mitigating circumstances give leeway to them as they would do for me.
Being hard on oneself was maybe my way of thinking as a younger me, but now that I am older and wiser( hopefully) I do realize that beating myself up on perceived or real mistakes serves no real purpose. I should learn from my errors and move on.
Why be hard on oneself?
The world is already doing that.