Rory has asked a thought-provoking question!
Many people lament the past. Past deeds, choices, and incidents. They say that if given the chance they would do it differently!
There are a couple of reasons for that.
1. We are shaped by our past. We are shaped by the choices we make and the paths we choose. If I want to be who I am and am happy with the person I have turned out to be, I won’t want to change my past. In the past, there were a few life-altering decisions that I made. Even at that time, I promised myself that I won’t regret whatever the outcome of those decisions would be. And the decision to get married during my med school was one that ultimately resulted in me not becoming a doctor. So I could have beaten myself about it and could have regretted it because it was a major turning point in my life. Instead of being a career woman, I chose to be a homemaker and a mom. I never regretted my choice. I have a lot of medical knowledge and use it often to the advantage of myself, my family and friends.
The things that happened to me in my past also effected me and changed who I am today. The tough time as a child made me a stronger person with unshakable faith. If my circumstances were different and I had grown up differently, I may not be the strong woman I am today.
And that brings me to the other reason.
2. I believe in destiny and fate. We became in life what we are meant to be. I don’t mean that we should sit around and wait for things to happen to us. What I do mean is that we all fit like cogwheels in this grand scheme of things called life and universe. We all have an important role to play during our lifetime. Gradually and slowly we gravitate towards our aim in life. All the circumstances, accidents and decisions take us there. Whatever route we take, destiny cannot be changed. So why wish for;
if only, what if, it should have or it would have.
There is another reason which prevents me from thinking along the lines of “doing it differently if given a chance”
And the reason is that I prefer my peace of mind. Revisiting the past and thinking over things that happened can only lead to an agitated mind. We start to regret and get unhappy. Why do that since no one can alter what happened in the past. No one has or can invent a redo button to change what happened in the past.
The best thing is too accept whatever happened in the past and move forward from there.