Working on Us- Week # 22- Fear of rejection

Beckie of Beckie’s Mental Mess is the creator of this challenge.

Hello, All! Welcome back to “Working on Us” – A series that represents people with mental health illnesses/disorders. 

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Week #22 Topic: Rejection and Overcoming Rejection

Why Do We Fear Rejection?

There are many facets to the fear of rejection. Here are some of the main reasons why you might fear being disliked and shunned:

  • You fear to be alone and isolated from others
  • You’re scared of having your worst fears confirmed, i.e. that you’re unlovable, stupid, ugly, worthless, a failure, etc.
  • You fear to have old trauma triggered, i.e. feelings of abandonment from childhood
  • You’re scared of the end product, i.e. plunging into depression, anxiety, self-loathing, etc.

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Questions Prompts:

  1. Have you ever been rejected by family/friends because of your mental illness/disorder?
  2. Has anyone mistreated you to the point you felt like you were nothing?
  3. Have you ever confronted the person/persons that have made you feel this way?
  4. If the answer to #3 is “Yes”, was anything resolved?
  5. Has rejection changed you in any way? ie… Self-Esteem, Depression, and/or changed your opinion the way you feel towards the human race as a whole?
  6. Or, has rejection done the opposite and made your stronger and more resilient?

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If you choose not to answer the questions and rather write a narrative about a certain situation, please feel free to.  For that matter, you can choose any way you want to handle this topic.  If you want to write a poem, short prose, etc… Please feel free to express yourself the way you would like to.

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Fear of Rejection

 

Help Break The Stigma Surrounding Mental Health

 

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My narrative;

I am sharing things from my own childhood, where I faced the fear of being alone.

One thing I must make clear that this post is not about self-pity. It is about overcoming obstacles thrown in our way by circumstances and life itself.

As I have mentioned before I lost my mother at the age of six. I had two brothers, one older and one younger to me. My father remarried after a couple of years. Things were going well but then my youngest brother was born. His birth heralded a change in my stepmom’s behavior. She became very possessive and jealous about us sharing our father’s love with our stepbrother. As he grew up, her insecurities grew too. She would be comparing what we got as in clothes etc. with what her son got. It was very petty-minded of her. Gradually life became very tough for us three siblings.

She tried to create a rift between us and our father. Though she was unsuccessful, she managed to create an atmosphere of resentment and tension in our home. Her jealousy drove her to the extent that she would lie about things or exaggerate them out of proportion to make us look bad. Luckily, we three siblings had a bond of love and a stronger bond of a common enemy to hold us together. We were always there for each other in our growing years. But as my brothers grew up they found activities and life outside the home to be more attractive and free from stress and hence they were not around that much when I hit teenage. I was a shy girl and didn’t have many friends.

At this time in my life, I faced a sense of isolation and fear of being alone in life. I felt that I was unwanted and useless and would often give in to bouts of self-pity and crying. It is a long saga, which continued till I got married and moved out of my father’s home. I don’t blame my father because we never told him what was going on. He was suffering from CAD (coronary artery disease) and any stress was bad for him. So, we suffered in silence.

But from this situation, I discovered my inner strength. Little by little, I started to feel good in myself. I always had my father’s love to support me, so I started to disregard the arrows of criticism and dislike aimed at me. My past formed me. Now I have achieved the mental state that I always wanted. Where I am not bothered about what others think of me or about my actions. I feel that having faced a tough time growing up, I have developed a resistance to being bullied. It has helped me overcome my fears of rejection as I know my own worth now.

The lesson learned is that people may want to subdue you, they may want you to feel unwanted or may try to isolate you, but you can overcome this by believing in yourself. By knowing your good qualities and by loving yourself.

 

#Keepitalive

#WorkingOnUs

20 thoughts on “Working on Us- Week # 22- Fear of rejection

  1. Our childhood shapes us in so many ways, often ones we have to rework as we get older and wiser. I’m so glad you were able to move out from under a mother figure who should have been a source of love and support.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s so difficult when family members reject and/or disrespect you, especially at such a young age. Thank goodness you were able to reflect and overcome the rejection that many have such a difficult time shedding.
    My father did a number to me when I was younger, It wasn’t until I was married that I had gotten over his treatment towards me. However, when I was engaged to the narcissist, that was a case of stepping forward and stepping at least 10 steps back. (which is a story I will share in a separate post).
    I’m so happy you were able to come to terms and move forward with positive reinforcements of a supportive family in your life now. 💚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It sure is, specially if you are too young to understand. But thank God that I came out of the situation on the positive side. It was the grace of God that we, all three of us weren’t turned into damaged goods.

      Liked by 1 person

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