My peace of mind is my decision

life Advice

How often it is that we are affected by something someone has said or done?

In doing so, we give the power over our emotional wellbeing to others.

It is neither the responsibility nor the burden to be carried by someone else. We and solely we are responsible for our emotional well-being and happiness.

It is a tall order; To be unaffected by the stuff going around us. We are vulnerable emotionally and psychologically by the vibes we get from others, specially those whose opinions matter to us. We are sub-consciously seeking emotional support and validation from our friends and family. And instead of support if we are given a dose of indifference or criticism we react by feeling discouraged and unhappy.

What we don’t consider in this situation are the following factors:

1. The other person is not aware of saying or doing anything untoward.

2. They may have troubles of their own which make them oblivious to the problems you are facing.

3. They may be meaning the words in a different sense than what you took them for.

4. Maybe they did mean what they said but overreaction on your part are just making matters worse.

These are tricky issues which originate when we build our hope and expectations around others. We need to build a wall around our feeling, so that we are not hurt by any or all the remarks uttered by others.

At the end of the day, if we are unhappy, we suffer. So take the reigns of your emotional well-being into your hands and understand firmly that it’s your own job to keep yourself happy and not of anyone else.

Please share your thoughts and feedback in the comments.

#keepitalive

#findinghappiness

#takeresponsibility

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Published by Sadje

I am writing to express my opinion, share my experiences and to maybe provide some insight. My blog is addressing women at 50 ( but men are welcome to read my posts) ,their issues and the questions that come up at this stage in life. I don’t aim to teach, but to learn together.

Published

31 thoughts on “My peace of mind is my decision”

  1. I have a bad habit of taking random remarks personally. I struggle to separate myself from them all the time in real life, reminding myself that almost always the comments are about the speaker’s issues and not me.

    Good post!

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  2. Sadje, I love how you have used posts to give people such helpful and encouraging things to think about. We all need to be constantly reminded that we are responsible for our own happiness and not to give that power to others either through addition or subtraction. Bless You. I am so thankful this is one of the first posts I read this morning. May your day bring you smiles. 🙂

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  4. I’ve struggled throughout my life with the problem of taking random remarks personally. Especially in the work place. Lost a lot of jobs due to taking something ‘wrong’. I think these days I’m a LOT better at that, but then I don’t have a job any more either. And sometimes those of us with faulty brain chemistry, which may cause mental illness or severe depression, cannot take things impersonally. It’s how we SEE the world. I believe that was your point, right? Learning to see the world more equitably? Choosing to be happy every day. For some of us, that is an on-going process. And I really liked this line from an old movie (I can’t remember which one): “Don’t take it PERSONALLY?? Whatever one might expect, personally is exactly what it is, so don’t diminish that.” (in response to being told their house was being repossessed or foreclosed on or something equally bad, which is extremely personal to the owner of said house.). Sometimes taking it personally is the only option!

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    1. I understand this because I also struggle with the tendency to take things personally and feel deeply. It’s a reminder to me as well to try to take the remarks of others with a pinch of salt. Thanks for sharing your feedback. Hugs

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  6. Pingback: Something Different (again) | sparksfromacombustiblemind

  8. I think intention is important here, perhaps. It’s worth checking it out with the other person. If they didn’t intend to say something hurtful it’s one thing. But if we’re deliberately attacked it’s another. Then it’s understandable to feel hurt and appropriate to defend ourselves. Thanks for this thought-provoking post, Sadje.

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  9. Great post, as always. As a Highly Sensitive Person, I have struggled for years learning not to react to things that are not my burden to carry. I’ve been asked “Why are you always so happy?” My answer is always the same, “Because I choose to be.” Today, I choose gratitude and happiness will follow.

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  10. I agree. Taking back our power is so important, not letting someone else being callous and unthinking or deliberately hateful cause us pain no longer. When I saw he guy who put me in a hospital, it was amazing that he had not thought of me in all of those years. I did not ask if why he beat on me, as my best friend suggested, because he whyndid not matter any more. I had taken back my power by convincing myself that I was valuable and deserved better, and that I needed to move on, forgive, and let it go. Best thing Imever did for me and my children.

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