I am truly an expert when it comes to blundering!
It is a God-given talent. I can and do blunder wherever I can. Since I was born with this talent, I have honed it to a near perfection by now, that I am nearer to sixty than fifty. I have many sub-specialities in this expertise.
Foot in the mouth disease;
Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and voila! Who could be better than me in this art. Since my attempts at lying are pretty pathetic, this compounds the situation occasionally. I don’t have the presence of mind to divert the conversation when I have made a faux pas so in my frustration I make matters worse.
Bumping, slipping and tumbling;
This is another aspect of my personality. I would fall whenever there is the slimmest chance of falling. Slipping on all types of surfaces and in all sorts of footwear has been attempted by me , usually with a high ratio of success. Walking into walls? Doors or corners? A piece of cake. Been there and done that, many times over. I have scars and bruises as testimonies. Stairs are another area where I excel. I have fallen down the stairs more times than I would like to recall. I even have fallen going up the staircase! Does anyone else do that?
This is an outcome of the above talent. My first knee surgery was the result of twisting my knee while playing with friends in high school. Though I am really lucky that I haven’t broken any bones (touch wood), l have a lot of scars to prove that it wasn’t due to lack of trying. My father once remarked that my hand looked like that of a soldier after a war ( At that time, I had an unsuccessful encounter with a window pane, where instead of the window opening, I pushed my hand through it breaking the pane and injuring my hand with multiple cuts, quite dramatic in appearance). There were the mandatory falls from the bike, trees, walls etc, but I guess most kids get those.
So, I can say quite truthfully that I am truly an expert when it comes to BLUNDERING!
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