Is it okay to tell a lie if it is to prevent someone from unhappiness?
Or is being truthful at all cost should be our policy. As they say, honesty is the best policy, we should follow it regardless of any harm it may cause. There are different takes on this from different people. Some support the fact that a little white lie when told to stop someone from a hurt, is permissible.
The problem with lying is that once you get on this train, there is no stopping it. If I can tell a lie to save someone from getting hurt, I can lie to save myself from embarrassment. This way of thinking can lead us into deep quagmire of deceit.
We also have the people who have different versions of truth. They think that if one tweaks the truth a little, rearranging the factsadding a bit and omitting a few parts of the whole, it is still the truth. Well most people, that is people who prefer honesty, won’t agree that it is the truth. The words of the oath taken while testifying in court has taken this tendency of people and the words, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth have been included.
The convenient lie is a lie told to give false comfort to people, because an unpleasant truth can cause a lot of panic amongst public. This is sometimes seen when the authorities keep the facts hidden, placating people with half-truths and even outright lies. And the strange thing is that people sometimes prefer to hear comforting lies rather than face the unpleasant reality.
In the end I would like to mention the living lie detectors. These are the people who can sniff out a liar and the lies like a sniffer hound. They enjoy finding out the liars and have fun while doing it.
How do you feel about lying? Is it okay to tell a lie in certain circumstances or should the truth be the king, always.
Please share your thoughts and feedback through comments
I am writing to express my opinion, share my experiences and to maybe provide some insight. My blog is addressing women at 50 ( but men are welcome to read my posts) ,their issues and the questions that come up at this stage in life. I don’t aim to teach, but to learn together.
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44 thoughts on “Truthfulness, lies or half truths?”
Ah, the truth, a little white lie or a real porker.
I value honesty, but sometime we have to be kind and a little white lie is acceptable. It’s the blatant porkers that get me, and Im afraid our government is rife with them.
Once someone told me a brutally honest truth. Well that made me really very sad. I can’t pen it down in words.
But years later I am glad that person told me the truth. I couldn’t have lived with a lie and die every moment with it.
Truth is best, always but, I have discovered the hard way that many don’t want truth. They are, indeed, more comfortable with lies. A large portion of the US is like that.
I have learned to be silent or vague. I’ve been an unwilling party to nastiness when truth was spoken.
People have a tendency to choose ‘a side’ and ignore information that might give them a clearer view.
Then, you have folks standing hip deep in a mess of their own making, don’t know how to fix it and carry on like nothing is wrong. Tell them the truth from a view outside their own? Meltdown.
When I was a teenager, a coworker once told me that I always played the victim. It hurt me deeply at the time and I was upset about it, but looking back, he was somewhat right. Hopefully I broke that pattern some. It is something I still work on. That victim mindset is hard to get over when you were abused for many years by those you trusted.
I’ve written about this on my blog before, but I’ll answer. I’m basically an honest person. I’m also a pragmatic person. I’ll lie if I have to, without a second thought or regret — mostly to strangers and salespeople. I have an honest face. That helps. ^_^ But I have a crappy memory so I tend not to lie to people in my life because it would be exhausting trying to remember who I told what to. And, as I mentioned before I’m basically an honest person. But I’m not an “always the truth no matter what” person because it’s just not practical.
As I’ve got older I think I’ve learned that sometimes saying nothing or changing the subject is better than not telling the truth. Sometimes you don’t tell the truth, often it comes back even to bite you in the backside.
We all do it. I generally talk rubbish anyway so I’m not sure people listen that much. I also suspect I am a poor liar anyway so people can see through me.
Brutal honesty is ALWAYS more brutal than honest. There’s honest, and then there’s cruel. Many people can’t seem to tell the difference. They should either lie or simply shut up.
I’m not sure how relevant this is, but this post I wrote asks the question to writers, bloggers, and storytellers whether exaggerating for the sake of the narrative is the same as or different than lying. Here’s the post. https://fivedotoh.com/2017/09/11/just-a-little-exaggeration/
It is an interesting read. I will admit to exaggeration when writing about something to make it more interesting. But not with the intent of making the reader believe that it is the truth. Artistic license, it is called. But when recounting facts, it’s always better to stay as close to the truth as one can.
I’m going to be honest. I’m not the most honest person. I tweak the “truth” according to the person. Some people literally can’t handle it. So, I dumb it down or don’t offer the truth at all, for fear of confrontation. If someone is asking for truth, i give it straight but usually I ask the person, what do they want.
Yeah, but what about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy??? Must we burst the balloon on all of these too?? Or the birds and the bees for a two or three year old??? I’m with the silence over lies approach. So, what about your best friend asking if her husband is having an affair and you know he is?? Sometimes it’s hard to know what you are supposed to do if you are a supposed trusted friend???
In that given scenario, I think dropping a hint would be a good idea. Because knowing is better now than later. For Santa, tooth fairy and all the other magical creations, parents should decide when to break the news.
Ah, the truth, a little white lie or a real porker.
I value honesty, but sometime we have to be kind and a little white lie is acceptable. It’s the blatant porkers that get me, and Im afraid our government is rife with them.
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Yes, the governments never hesitate to tell lie.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Once someone told me a brutally honest truth. Well that made me really very sad. I can’t pen it down in words.
But years later I am glad that person told me the truth. I couldn’t have lived with a lie and die every moment with it.
LikeLiked by 3 people
That must be something very profound. But it’s better to know the truth
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what ever happened to silence? It isn’t necessary to tell everything one knows to be truth…
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Yes, silence can be an option if an answer is not needed. Good point.
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Truth is best, always but, I have discovered the hard way that many don’t want truth. They are, indeed, more comfortable with lies. A large portion of the US is like that.
I have learned to be silent or vague. I’ve been an unwilling party to nastiness when truth was spoken.
People have a tendency to choose ‘a side’ and ignore information that might give them a clearer view.
Then, you have folks standing hip deep in a mess of their own making, don’t know how to fix it and carry on like nothing is wrong. Tell them the truth from a view outside their own? Meltdown.
Excellent post.
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Thanks a lot for your feedback. I agree that at times we don’t want to hear the truth.
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When I was a teenager, a coworker once told me that I always played the victim. It hurt me deeply at the time and I was upset about it, but looking back, he was somewhat right. Hopefully I broke that pattern some. It is something I still work on. That victim mindset is hard to get over when you were abused for many years by those you trusted.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s true. It takes time and lot of hard work to get over that sort of abuse.
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That is such a great topic and so well executed.
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Thanks a lot.
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I’ve written about this on my blog before, but I’ll answer. I’m basically an honest person. I’m also a pragmatic person. I’ll lie if I have to, without a second thought or regret — mostly to strangers and salespeople. I have an honest face. That helps. ^_^ But I have a crappy memory so I tend not to lie to people in my life because it would be exhausting trying to remember who I told what to. And, as I mentioned before I’m basically an honest person. But I’m not an “always the truth no matter what” person because it’s just not practical.
LikeLiked by 2 people
So right. Practical and pragmatic.
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As I’ve got older I think I’ve learned that sometimes saying nothing or changing the subject is better than not telling the truth. Sometimes you don’t tell the truth, often it comes back even to bite you in the backside.
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Yes, but sometimes I blurt out the truth before realizing that I could have kept silent.
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We all do it. I generally talk rubbish anyway so I’m not sure people listen that much. I also suspect I am a poor liar anyway so people can see through me.
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Yes I have the same problem. I can’t remember even when I have told a lie.
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Brutal honesty is ALWAYS more brutal than honest. There’s honest, and then there’s cruel. Many people can’t seem to tell the difference. They should either lie or simply shut up.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s true. Some people do enjoy destroying the faith in humanity in others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m not sure how relevant this is, but this post I wrote asks the question to writers, bloggers, and storytellers whether exaggerating for the sake of the narrative is the same as or different than lying. Here’s the post. https://fivedotoh.com/2017/09/11/just-a-little-exaggeration/
What do you think?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is an interesting read. I will admit to exaggeration when writing about something to make it more interesting. But not with the intent of making the reader believe that it is the truth. Artistic license, it is called. But when recounting facts, it’s always better to stay as close to the truth as one can.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m going to be honest. I’m not the most honest person. I tweak the “truth” according to the person. Some people literally can’t handle it. So, I dumb it down or don’t offer the truth at all, for fear of confrontation. If someone is asking for truth, i give it straight but usually I ask the person, what do they want.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is a good way to handle the conversation. Some people don’t want to know the truth.
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The truth or say nothing at all. Lies hurt more in the long run. Nice post.
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Thanks for the feedback. This is the best course to take. Keep quiet or tell the truth.
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Yeah, but what about Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy??? Must we burst the balloon on all of these too?? Or the birds and the bees for a two or three year old??? I’m with the silence over lies approach. So, what about your best friend asking if her husband is having an affair and you know he is?? Sometimes it’s hard to know what you are supposed to do if you are a supposed trusted friend???
LikeLiked by 1 person
In that given scenario, I think dropping a hint would be a good idea. Because knowing is better now than later. For Santa, tooth fairy and all the other magical creations, parents should decide when to break the news.
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You make some good points, Chuck. I feel it depends on the situation and the individuals.
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Exactly.
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Reblogged this on The Reluctant Poet.
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Thanks. I appreciate it.
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Reblogged this on niki1k.
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Thanks. I appreciate it.😉
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You Are Welcome- Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and Happy Holidays
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Thanks. Same wishes for you too. 👍🙏
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I am one of those “honesty is ALWAYS the best policy” people, even if the truth hurts.
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That’s my approach too. Even when I try to gloss over the truth, I cannot help but blurting out the truth.
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Yep. Been there, done that, way too many times. 🙂
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Me too!
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So true!
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Thanks 🙏🏻
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Truth will set us free…
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Indeed.
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