Let me give you some advice!

Have you heard these words often. Do you really want advice from someone you don’t even know all that well. If you are honest then the answer is NO!

All thinking, decent and kind humans like helping others, there is no disputing that fact. And giving helpful guidance is one way of doing it. But, giving advice and unsolicited advice, at that, is something that should be practiced very cautiously! One might be bursting with the thought of pointing out to someone close by that the way they are going about doing a certain task is all wrong and should be handled in another, more accurate/ better way. But please keep a lid on it. If anyone want your advice, they will ask for it.

The world is abound with people “who know better “ . People who “can show you how it’s done “. And those “who are always right “. How irritating we find them! In all honesty, we must admit that when we are stuck at something, a little advice can be very helpful. But the problem that arises at this point is twofold:

One: people usually don’t want others to interfere in their business.

And Secondly: asking for advice may sound like a sign of weakness or that we are not equipped to handle the situation.

So, how to help someone who might benefit from your input/ advice?

I was ( unfortunately) the sort of person who used to sprout words of advice at the drop of a hat! I have cured my instincts to a great degree and I offer advice ( usually) when someone says the magical words,

“Hey, can you tell me how…… “

or ” I need your advice regarding…..”

Though it puts a strain on me to keep my mouth shut, I do try. There are a couple of reasons why I have tried to curb my enthusiasm for giving advice;

1.  An advice giver ( no matter how sincere) is often regarded as a busybody, having too much interest in the business of others. These people are also considered as thinking themselves superior to others, i.e suffering from a superiority complex.

2. Another take on these people who offer advice without being asked for, is that usually people want to be given the advice they want to listen to, am I making my self clear? I mean to say if you give them a piece of advice that they don’t want to hear then it’s a sure shot way to earn unpopularity!

So the moral of the post is: Give ( advice) only when asked!

As they say that there is no appreciation of things that are given to us without asking, so let people want to ask your advice.

close up daisy flora flowers
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Let me know how you like my post. Please like and comment.

#Advice

#keepitalive

#Lifeadvice

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47 thoughts on “Let me give you some advice!

  1. Yet, I find asking difficult. I sometimes appreciate the good people in my life that step in. I have arranged it that they know who they are. They get a free pass, especially if they see me headed down a path not meant for me. Plus when they try to tell me things, give advice…ultimately I make my own choice in the end, as they might shake their heads. The important part is that we care and value one another enough to step in, step back, or step out if needed. Friends. I guess thats the key, don’t spew advice to a stranger, no matter how good it might be, unless asked.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are lucky to have such people in your life. As I said that we all do want to help, but the help or advice should be wanted. It could be an understanding among family and/ or friends to give guidance when required, even without asking. Thanks for reading and commenting. I appreciate the feedback.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I can relate to that ! I’m also Learning to keep my mouth shut, it’s important for people to experience on their own, if they must fail, they will, often we give advice because we want to prevent the other one to fail, or to make a mistake. Who are we, really?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Outstanding…beautiful and very well written! Great topic and wonderful dialogue! You have done ✅ it again Sadje! You are on point. After reading 📖 it through both times I don’t why, but I kept hearing in the back of my mind, Mr. Fred Rodgers saying, “Want you be my Friend.” “Love your Neighbor as Yourself An accountability partner, be it Friend, Family, Co-worker and maybe perhaps stranger which happens to be there in your moment to offer a hand 🖐 of enriched encouragement filled with experience and love ❤️.
    None of us seeing someone in harms way of intentionally harming themselves, would keep back and let them walk in front truck or freight train. You May notice a shift or somethings off, Mental Health real, switch gears listen, be alert, stay positive, keep them talking, stay with them if possible so.

    Of course a busybody is one who in everybody’s business. The Master advisory board.
    Learning how to gauge, when to
    tap in/out and when to allow to allow the Life Lessons to be the Teacher of Life.

    Yonnie
    InHisCare

    Like

    1. Thanks for beautiful insight. Wonderful way of putting it across. I agree with you totally. We must be there for our loved ones, Albeit waiting next the wings to give support when needed or asked.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. In my experience people only like to receive advice when you’re telling them what they want to hear so I tend to preface the ‘can you give me some advice’ question with an ‘are you sure?’. Quite often they’ll then change their minds :O) x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I think, unless it’s asked for, I tend to err on the side of not giving advice. Not all advices work on everyone, and sometimes if they don’t work out, the blame can be placed on the person that gave the advice. It’s a slippery slope.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this article so much!!! However I have to say the only advice giver who has been always right, was my mother. For example I still can hear her: take an extra jumper, honey, it’s cold outside. Me:(eyes rolled up) no worries mummy, I am fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I offer a counterpoint, if I see someone struggling with something, or if someone looks lost, I will say to them, “Would you like some help?” or “Do you need…?” and if the answer is “No.” then I keep my advice to myself. But sometimes the answer is a grateful, “Yes, thank you for offering.” and I help someone who was too timid to ask for advice or help.

    Having said that, I understand that there are personalities that don’t ask questions where the answer might be “No.” (Ask v. Guess personality) I’m an asker. I’m okay with being told, “No.”

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep, I understand that it’s difficult for some people to ask because the answer might be, “No.” or even a harsher, “Mind your own business!” but I’m not one of those people. ^_^ Like I said, there are two kinds of people, Askers and guessers. Askers aren’t afraid of or bothered by the chance being told “No.” but guessers will never ask if the answer in any way might be “No.”

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Keeping my mouth shut can be a severe challenge at times, but, like you, I endeavor to do so. After all it is the height and breadth of arrogance to think somebody really needs our advice or well-meaning encouragement even. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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